It was love at first sight: 25 suitors, one Bachelor or Bachelorette and a stack of roses ready to be handed out. This love affair has continued through 21 cycles of The Bachelor, 13 of The Bachelorette and more spinoffs than we care to remember. But despite silly fantasy suites and more splits than soulmates, something about this crazy show has captured our attention. So much so, that it’s bordered on addiction.
Here is your no-judgement journey towards finding out if you’re watching the show for the “wrong reasons.”
1. You plan your Mondays around a sacred 2 hour episode; the drama is best paired with a good bottle of wine and your Bachelor bingo card.
2. But, you often spend more than 2 hours a week on the show—having a pre-watch party, scouring through recaps the day after or, reading an article like this one.
3. You shout at your screen each week to the contestants as if you know them. “Don’t give a rose to that guy! Can’t you see he’s a liar?!”
4. Just in case you do ever meet them in real life, no worries, you’re following them all on Instagram and Twitter.
5. You can spot the crazies night one. And you look forward to watching their descent into madness. Bachelor in Paradise, here we come!
6. Visiting the Bachelor mansion and having an eccentric limo exit of your own are definitely on the bucket list.
7. Your expectations for date night are completely warped. No helicopter ride or private concert?
8. You begin referring to time with your friends, family and signifigant others as one-on-one or group dates. Extra points if you hand out a rose on each of your outings.
9. You LIVE for the man tears and “to be continued”. Maybe this is the most dramatic season of The Bachelorette yet?
10. You’ve accepted that “he/she was here for the wrong reasons” as an acceptable reason to break up with someone in your own love life
11. You find yourself thinking of Chris Harrison as the expert in all things relationships. If only he could dismiss the suitors you don’t like…
12. You revel in an un-politically correct, totally romantic moment like Jason choosing his runner-up on After the Final Rose or Ben telling both of his final two women that he loves them. Damn this show for always drawing you back in.
13. Whenever Neil Lane graces the screen once a season, you acknowledge him like an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. What a complex and wealthy man he must be.
14. You know the best moment of the season is when you see which person gets out of the limo first in the finale episode. It’s like a car wreck of heartbreak, you can’t look away.
15. You follow all of the couples after the show is over on places like Sarah Scoop, and are shocked whenever they don’t make it.
16. You don’t even feign embarrassment at your undying love for the show anymore. You’re in Bachelor Nation for life–no matter how many cheesy speeches and ridiculous twists you must endure.
Now that your obsession has been medically diagnosed, you can proceed in taking appropriate action: preparing for the next episode!