Hallelujah, Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 is finally here. Chris has promised, yet again, that this season will be the most dramatic season yet. Something tells me he really means it this time.
Here are 25 thoughts you probably had while watching last nights 2-hour premiere:
1. Finally, I’ve only been looking forward to this day since the last Bachelor in Paradise ended.
2. 2 hours!!! Wooohooo!!! So many possibilities. So much magic. So many tears. SO MANY COMMERCIALS.
4. Taylors wedges are like the height of my forearm. How does she do it?What happens if someone trips down the stairs?
6. What does Jorge do the rest of the year? Where does he sleep? I hope he gets paid well.
7. Okay, what. Jorge is going to follow his dreams? Why couldn’t he wait just a few more weeks?
8. Wells says he’s just here to make drinks. HA. Yeah, right.
9. Iggy’s commentary…not sure how I feel about it. But he seems like he’d be fun to play ping pong with.
10. If only I were carefree enough like Corinne to jump into a pool fully clothed. Wait, didn’t she have a swim suit on underneath?
11. Can Amanda get her hair wet?
13. Robby has a nice tan goin’ on. And those teeth. Those Eyes. That hair. He twinkles.
14. I think he might possibly be more sculpted than Zac Efron.
15. I wonder how it would feel to lay my head on his abs. Perhaps, a little bumpy? I can deal.
16. He’s very prepared in the swim trunk department. He’s not afraid of patterns, either. I like a fearless man.
17. Derek and Taylor, please make it. Don’t give up. Fight. You guys are dang cute.
18. I wonder what I would be doing if I was there.
19. Fascinating. Everything about this. So Fascinating.
20. Jasmine has a rather milky, smooth complexion. I wonder what her skincare routine is. Must find out.
21. Oh, yes. I like this whole Jasmine and Matt thing goin’ on. He seems genuine. I like him.
22. Awwwwww, and he’s totally down to do whatever. He handled becoming a woman, like a boss-a$$ woman.
23. He still has sparkles on his face. I can’t concentrate on anything else.
24. How do these people drink all day long and not die? How are they functioning? Can they share their tips? Nick is the only one slurring. I am Nick.
25. I can’t take my eyes off of Corinne and Dimario. What is going on? Why did they stop filming? Ooh, the suspense! Would it really be Bachelor in Paradise if they didn’t make us wait to find out?
I would like to personally thank, hug, and bake cookies for each and every person who made it possible for the season to happen. Long live Bachelor in Paradise!