The Boyfriend Checklist: Qualities to look for in a good guy
When you’re a single girl exploring the wonders of dating, there are numerous kinds of guys you’ll come across. Some will be hilarious, some intelligent, some romantic, and some down-right gorgeous. But how do you know if you’ve got yourself a catch?
You could fish around: ask friends or coworkers what they think, but do you even know what you’re fishing for? While the athletic stud, social butterfly, religious saint, or momma’s boy, all have their appeal, deciding whether or not they have good boyfriend potential is messy business– the kind where some girls may end up with empty tear ducts, countless crumpled tissues, and a pint of ice cream in their laps.
Of course no girl goes out looking to get her heart broken, but if you choose to ignore your mind completely during the first few dates, you’re responsible for putting your own heart at danger. I’m all for following your heart and going with your gut, but dating is also about using your head.
Any girl can easily avoid getting played or hurt by being an active dater. Don’t allow yourself to get lost in his dreamy blue eyes until you know that he’s the kind of guy that’ll go search for you. In the end, no matter how attractive a person’s potential may be, remember that you have to date their reality.
Avoid both bad boys, and bad relationships, by checking to see that your date possesses most, if not all, of the following “good guy” qualities:
- He lives with integrity. One of the biggest tell-tale signs of the “good guy” is that he is honest; and it shows in everything he does. Whether it’s being consistent in his personality and who he is, or in simply siding with the truth, a good guy will know how to deliver an honest and open conversation when the time comes.
- He listens. When you’re going on a rant about the latest drama with your best friend, or how horrible your boss is, your guy is alert and catching every word of the story. He may not be able to do anything about it, but it matters to him to know nonetheless. If you’re important, then your crazy rants and stories will be too.
- He is respectful. A good guy knows the importance of respect both inside and outside of a relationship. He treats everyone he meets with respect, because he himself has self-respect. It’s his compassion and kind words that create a positive energy wherever he goes.
- He is all about morality. Supporting and promoting morally sound choices within himself and others, is a sign that your guy knows right from wrong. This guy will support justice and fight injustice. You can take comfort in knowing that his choices are well-thought out and sound.
- He maintains a good relationship with his parents. There’s a reason no girl can go wrong falling for a “momma’s boy.” Besides knowing how to treat a woman right, this guy knows the importance of relationships through family. If he’s taking the time to cultivate a good standing with his parents well beyond the teenage years of living with them, it shows that he knows how to be in a lasting and committed relationship.
- He is humble. The good guy will never boast about himself or his accomplishments. He allows the world to see him as he is, instead of trying to paint them a picture of what he wants them to see.
- He doesn’t display power struggles. Whether it’s at work, amongst friends, or in a relationship, a good guy will never have issues adjusting to circumstances where he isn’t “top-dog.” This guy won’t back down from instances where his girl may have more control, or be in the spotlight of the relationship, simply because he is that secure in himself. He may know all about being the “driver” of a relationship, but that doesn’t mean he won’t sit in the passenger seat every now and again.
- He gives thanks. He shows gratitude where gratitude is due. Any guy that takes time to appreciate the small things others do for him, is a guy that doesn’t expect entitlement from the world. He recognizes that the world doesn’t revolve around him, so when he’s showered with attention or affection, he knows how to show appreciation.
- He flaunts you. Any guy that is genuinely into you will have no shame displaying you in his life. If your personality, goals, and accomplishments impressed him, he has no doubt that they would impress his friends or family members. Unlike the “bad boy,” a good boy wants nothing more than to share your awesomeness with everyone else in his life.
- He’s open to learning. A good guy isn’t necessarily going to be right all the time, but this is something he already knows. When your date makes a mistake or realizes he’s wrong, he’s smart enough to accept it, and then learn from it, because he knows it’ll only make him a better man.
- He has full control of himself and his emotions. No matter where he is, or what the situation, this guy knows how to behave in any place. He doesn’t lose his temper on you in the middle of a party, or start throwing things across the room to make his point. He knows when to stop drinking or when to call a cab home. Regardless of what he does, he’ll always think through his decisions before acting on them.
- He is responsible. Everyone in the world has some form of responsibility to carry out, but whether or not they carry it out is something else entirely. If your date knows his duties and actually takes time to do them, then he is one reliable fella, and you’re a lucky gal.
- He has empathy. Any man that knows and has empathy, almost instinctively also has compassion. If he can feel and understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes, then he knows how to act and treat others to make them feel good as well.
- He prioritizes you. Despite his busy schedule, if your date continuously prioritizes you, then he is genuinely a good guy. He may try to hide it to gauge your interest in him, but more often than not, this guy values both your time and feelings. He cares about spending time with you because you matter to him, but he also doesn’t want you feeling rejected.
- He has loyalty. The “good guy” will always demonstrate loyalty inside and outside of a relationship. A guy that is loyal to his friends, loyal to his word, or even loyal to his boss, is a guy that will be loyal to you in a committed relationship.
- He’s constantly looking to improve. Whether it’s himself or the world at large, a good guy will always be on the lookout for ways to make things better. This doesn’t mean that he’s simply not satisfied, but that he simply wants the best version of the world and himself. This is a guy that will be ever-determined in his efforts to grow himself and his relationships.
- He’s attentive to you. It’s not easy for guys to do, but any guy that is attentive to what a girl says or does, is a guy that’ll ultimately be the most successful in keeping you happy. If he knows minor details about you, he knows the little things that’ll please you in a relationship as well.