By: Emmi MacIntyre
I know I, like so many of us, love the movie “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.” Just because Ben and Andie fell in love, yadayada, blahblahblah, she (Kate Hudson) couldn’t “find the heart” to post the article. (Ugh, Andie, you left us hangin’!) That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t know about these deal breakers that result in a traumatic or unexpected break-up or blow-off!
As for me, I haven’t had that many experiences with break ups because I’ve had the same boyfriend for three years! (Don’t hate me!) But being in a relationship for this long has taught me so many things about what to do and not to do. AND, don’t fret, because I am CONSTANTLY listening to sad, sob stories that my girlfriends and three sisters are always letting me in on. Even though they cannot see how they went wrong, how these wonderful guys could leave them, or why they didn’t call, I feel like the signs are so apparent! Other magazines have given some advice, but everything just seems to be too vague or broad. Like how do I know when the answer the phone or when to let it ring? So, without further ado, cause I know everyone has been waiting for this story since the movie came out in 2003, here are seven “no no’s” in your future, budding relationship.
1) Don’t be the first to call.
Ladies, I know he was super cute, and he did give you his number, but take some advice from “He’s Just Not that Into You”, and don’t dial his digits before he even asks for yours! If a guy liked and was interested in you, he’ll want to call you! If not, there are PLENTY of fish in the sea. Besides, guys like a little mystery. The “hard to get game” always wins… trust me!
2) Don’t play dumb… That’s dumb.
All of Sarah’s Scoop readers are strong, intelligent women who don’t need to dumb themselves down for any guys’ attention! Use what you have in your brain to impress them, not slump down to their level. Being intelligent is intriguing. Being dependent on no one but yourself, making your own money, and paying your own bills is because of your brain power is not only awesome but sexy to your guy. Haven’t you ever hear “Miss Independent” by Neyo?! According to Askmen.com, 95% of guys don’t mind when their girls have a higher income than them… it turns them on! So, turn off the “dumb blonde” act and put on your smart glasses (cause guys think those are sexy, too).
3) Don’t assume… or get jealous and mad for no reason!
This act is fatal to a lot of relationships. Girls, there’s a reason they’re with you. Don’t assume the worst out of them! If you allow jealousy and assumptions to take over your relationship, you’re not as fun to be around. According to a 2010 study by the American Psychological Association, jealousy makes women more negative and less focused on the actual situation. You want to be happy in a relationship… don’t sabotage it by making false accusations! On the other hand, if a guy is cheating… grab your keys and get gone!
4) No girl talk… that’s what girlfriends are for!
Guys do not care about your gossip at work, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”, and they ESPECIALLY don’t want to hear about your period. No matter how much they are willing to buy your tampons, guys are freaked out by your cycle. Always have been always will be! And why would you want to talk about something so awful and down right yucky anyway? Don’t look to them to vent on your everyday stresses… that’s why girlfriends are a must! Keep them around… that way you both can have your time away from each other, keeping things interesting and new!
5) Don’t always be available or be afraid to hit that “ignore”.
With technology nowadays, it’s fairly easy to get a hold of people via email, phone, voice mail, snail mail, whatever! He doesn’t need to know what you’re doing at 11:59am, 12:02, 12:04 through 8:45pm… it takes out the mystery in the relationship, and mystery makes you sexy! Make him work for your attention because if he’s working. And that’s always a good sign.
6) Don’t fish for compliments…
We all have our insecurities; feeling bloated, a big red zit in the middle of your face, a little dimple of cellulite on your right leg, a bad hair day. Everyone has those days. But don’t let your guy know that you’re down. Acorrding Jim Houran, PhD relationship psycologist and comlumist for onlinedatingmagazine.com says that when you’re not confident, you come across to your guys as needy. No one wants a needy girlfriend. So leave the compliments to your mom.
7) Don’t give it all away too early
This is one of the most cliche, old fashioned rules in the book, but it works! Wait at least 10 dates before you invite the guy in (I would say even more, but maybe I am a little old fashioned). This way you can know if the only reason he’s interested in you is to “get some action” or if he really, truly likes you and wants to get to know you better. You need to be 110% comfortable with your guy, and if you’re not, don’t let him pressure you… it won’t be worth it in the long run.