Whether we break up with a boyfriend, or he breaks up with us, feelings of regret often follow. Often, these fade along with feelings of sadness and loneliness. We are able to get on with our lives, happier and more fulfilled than before? However, it occasionally happens that we realize that a mistake has been made.
So, before you figure out how to get your ex back, you first need to figure out some other important things. Each of the following points will help you decide whether or not it is a good idea to pursue him or not. Read on to find out more…
Did he make you a better, happy and more fulfilled person?
First things first. Take a step back and take some time to consider the kind of person that you were when you were with him. Did he make your sometimes manic personality a little calmer? Did he teach you how to be kind to people even when they didn’t deserve it? Did he build you up and never put you down? If these things are (definitely) true, that’s wonderful. However, if it was quite the opposite? If he didn’t make you a better or happier or more fulfilled person, let the relationship go. You deserve better than that.
Did you make him a better, happy and more fulfilled person?
This second point may be quite a bit trickier. You need to analyze whether or not you made him a better, happier and more fulfilled person? Or, did you find that you were constantly criticizing him, or trying to make him change? If so, maybe you are both better off without each other.
Is now the right time, for both of you?
When you broke up, it was clearly the right time to call it a day, for at least one of you. The key word here is time. If you want to go about pursuing your ex again, you need to figure out first if now is the right time. Ask yourself is this point in your life is truly the best time to be together? Perhaps you are about to leave for University or college. Maybe he is starting a demanding new career? Of course, you can work around these things, but is there a chance they could get in the way of things too much. If so, perhaps you should give yourselves both a bit more time. Getting back together for a second time- and it not working again- will be incredibly hurtful for both of you.
Will you be hurting a new partner- even unintentionally- if you pursue him?
Here is a tricky one. Is the ex that you’re pursuing now in a serious relationship with another person. If not, great. But if so? You need to give some serious consideration to whether or not you will be hurting his new partner in pursuing him. Even the chance of hurting them unintentionally needs to be considered. Think about how you would feel if you were in her shoes. Again, this links back to the second point, and the effect you had on him. If you can see he is truly happy with his new partner- happier than with you- perhaps you should leave him to it.