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When things go wrong in our marriage, it is tempting to sweep them under the carpet. It’s tempting to put them to the back of our mind in the hope that things will get better. This rarely happens, and the most common outcome is that things get worse. What can you do when things go wrong in your marriage?
1. Identify the Problem
Rather than burying your head in the sand, think about the problem and its source. Is it something that you can change? If not, is it something that your partner can change? Identifying the problem will allow you to think about possible solutions.
We have all heard people say that the key to a good relationship is communication. This is true. If there is a problem, it’s time to start talking. Your partner can’t help you to resolve things if he isn’t aware of the issue.
Choose a good time when you won’t be interrupted. Try not to be accusatory. Lay out the problem as you see it so you can discuss it together. Listen carefully to what your partner is saying, even if you disagree. Try to respect your partner’s feelings even if they are in the wrong. This can be difficult, but it is essential to move forward.
3. Be Honest
Be open and honest with your partner. Tell them what you think or feel, even if this makes you feel vulnerable. Pretending you’re comfortable with a situation when you’re not, won’t achieve anything. The problems will persist, and you will find yourself in the same position.
If you are at fault then admit this and apologize. Be honest about your reasons and why you acted in this way. It will be down to your partner as to whether they can forgive you but, at least, they will know the truth.
If your partner is at fault, then be honest with yourself as to whether you can forgive them. If you can’t forgive them right now, can you forgive them in time? What steps would you and your partner need to put in place to achieve this?
Sadly, there may be problems that you can’t fix or issues that can’t be resolved. Once you have exhausted all possibilities, you may decide that it’s time to part ways. Make sure you enlist the help of a professional service, such as DivorceGuru.com, to guide you through this process.
4. Seek Professional Advice
If talking hasn’t worked and you’re unable to solve the problems, then consider seeking professional help. A marriage counselor will create the right environment to enable you to work through the issues together. This may seem uncomfortable at first, but you will soon adapt.
5. Try Again
If you can reach a consensus and both agree, then try again. You both need to be very clear what your expectations are. Set clear boundaries.
It is a sad fact of life that sometimes marriages break down, and there is nothing we can do to change that. However, this is the last resort. Try to work through the issues with your partner and seek professional advice if necessary. Whatever the outcome, you will have the knowledge that you did everything you could to resolve the issues and overcome the obstacles.