This is the first official post for my advice column. We all need some advice and a second opinion sometimes and I am here to help.
A reader writes:
Hi! My son is 14 and will be starting high school in August. He is a very private person and really prefers not to share anything with us unless absolutely necessary. How can we help him feel comfortable opening up and sharing his life with us?
Well let me first say that I want to applaud this reader for her concern as a mother, he is lucky to have a mother who cares enough about his well being to want know what it is going on in his life. Honestly, the last person a 14 year old boy wants to talk to is his mother. He feels like everything he is going through now is over your head and you wouldn’t understand. As a teenager you want to express yourself to people you can relate to. You are looking for guidance and are afraid that parents will be parents and simply scold you. I would say the best thing to do is to not force the situation. Don’t force him to talk to you in some awkward sit down situation. It will only make things worse and may make he retract even more. The key to making him open up to you is to make him feel comfortable, loved and accepted. If he feels that then no matter what the situation big or small he will come to you because he feels like you won’t judge him. Maybe try doing something with him that he likes. Don’t ask him any questions just let the night flow. He will begin to feel at ease and naturally open up. Private people always remain private to some extent but he doesn’t feel the pressure to divulge every detail of his life you might be surprised at what comes out. Hope this helps!
Need advice and not sure who to ask? Ask the Sarah Scoop team! Feel free to email us at email@example.com with ANY questions you may have. We will be glad to help.