7 Ways To Get The Spark Back In Your Relationship

by Sarah Ruhlman
1 comment

At the beginning of any new love relationship, it’s as if you can’t get enough of one another? Am I right? You enter that whole “can’t keep your hands off one another” stage and in your eyes that partner of yours is just perfect. You go on endless dates. Watch movies hand in hand. Take sunset strolls and happily be with one another for every minute you can.

That honeymoon period is over. You become a real life couple. Sure you love one another a lot. You may end up living together, become engaged. Perhaps even married. You get your routine and a life that you build up. But it’s when you have been together for sometime that you or both of you can feel that the spark goes. There doesn’t seem to be that spontaneity to your relationship. You may not head out on any dates anymore. But, this is where your relationship can go one of two ways. It can work and flourish, or it can end. So if you find yourself in the situation where you want it to work but feel there is no spark, then my tips on how to nurture your relationship is for you.

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Have date nights

It’s true. At the beginning of your relationship, you tend to go out a lot more. This is mostly because you don’t live with one another, and that is your chance to catch up and get to know one another. But why does it need to stop when you are in a full blown relationship? The truth is there is a well known saying, never stop dating your wife and never stop flirting with your husband. However, we can forget that every now and again. You don’t need to date one another as often as you used to. It just wouldn’t be workable. But dating once a week or even once a month, whenever you get the chance, will make sure a difference to your relationship.

It can be as simple as cooking for one another. Heading out to your local restaurant or trying some place new. You may even want to head to a cinema to catch a movie or even consider things like bowling or shopping. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing together do it more often. It could help cement your feelings for one another. This can work well especially if you have a family. The chances are when children are involved that you can spend even less time focused on one another. This Is where you can feel like mom and dad more than your individual selves. But this is a common mistake, as you feel in love with one another as individuals. So it’s good to rekindle that every now and again. Date nights can make your relationship stronger and more united.

Communicate with one another

Communication is one of the biggest things we take for granted in a relationship. We can forget to communicate with each other, and this can lead to many problems down the road. It can be as simple as asking one another how their day was. Or discussing issues in the workplace or the successes they have enjoyed. Communication is the key to a good and long lasting relationship. If you don’t have your partner to share the highs and lows with then who can you do it with? The person you are in a relationship is your closest ally. They need to be the one that cheers you on when you are doing something new or exciting. They need to be the one who can console you when times are tough.

The best thing you can do is make a conscious effort to discuss your days and things on your mind. This might be where you start to do it more often, and it can lead on to more conversations. You should actively discuss your future and what lies ahead. A great way to encourage this conversation is to write a bucket list together. This could be of all the places you want to visit or things you want to experience. Another fantastic way of opening up a conversation is to set yourself a challenge of creating a vision board. This is where you try and envision and discuss what life would be like in five or ten years time and create something visual to support it.

Being honest with one another and breaking down the barriers

Sometimes it can be difficult to let someone become close. Especially if you have been hurt in the past. You may be completely unaware that you don’t let your partner become close to you. The barriers go up. Or you may close off when certain topics of conversation are presented. But this can send you on the path for a failed relationship at some point. You need to be able, to be honest with your partner, and that may mean letting go and allowing them in a little. Breaking the walls down gently. Sometimes avoidance in relationships happens without us even realising. We can avoid subjects just because they hurt, but not realise that not letting someone in can push them away. While these conversations may be difficult to have in the beginning, they could go a long way to making your relationship much stronger. It may even explain things and repair damage you never even thought was there.


When you are in a relationship for a long time, you can lose any spontaneity. The element of surprise goes out the window. Partly because you know this person better than they know themselves. But to add a little spark back to the relationship than adding some surprise back to it could help you. This might mean buying a bunch of flowers on the way home from work. It might even mean getting creative and making a little treasure hunt to find the surprise. It might mean a surprise meal on the table for when you get home from work. Anything that is spier of the moment and out of the ordinary could work here.

Think back to when you were at the beginning. You may have done this all the time without thinking about it. This is what you need to get back. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to be doing things constantly. Your normal daily life should be a happy and content one. But once in awhile surprise them. Just because.

A willingness to work through difficult situations

Every relationship will face their tough times. It’s inevitable. But the difference between a good and long lasting relationship, and one that isn’t, is your willingness to work through the tough times. Together and united. Bereavement and loss. Guilt and stressful times. They can all add to your relationship and make things hard. Coming together and helping one another through will be testament to your relationship. It will nurture the relationship for it to sail through the tough waters.

This is where providing emotional support will be key. An ability to understand and work through any tough problems. Be it something that you are facing individually, or together, will be what get’s you through.

Step out of your comfort zone with one another

Doing things you would normally do together is one thing. Especially if you enjoy them. But stepping out of your comfort zone with one another and trying new things will be great for your relationship. Experiencing things together allows you to make memories and can bring you closer together.

It is those memories and experiences that you will look back on in years to come. Again it’s about communicating what you want to do with your lives. This when your bucket list can come into practise. You can make notes of who wants to do what and promise to experience them with one another. It shows that you are willing to try new and exciting things, even if they aren’t your cup of tea.

Be positive about situations and your relationship

Having a positive outlook on life can help you in many ways. It can help alleviate stress and improve your lifestyle. Being positive about your life can extend to your relationship. It is so easy to nitpick and look at the problems. It’s even easier to focus on the flaws of your partner. All the things that perhaps will never have bothered you before but have become obvious and an issue. But taking yourself away from those things and focusing on the positive side can make things much better for you going forward.

Being positive means trying to turn any negative thought into something more positive and workable. So being grateful for what you have in the relationship you have worked on. Being thankful for the lifestyle you lead and thinking positively towards a healthy and happy future. It the little things that can often add up to cause a big problem. So don’t let them get that far.

I hope these tips and advice helps you nurture your relationship more and get that spark back.


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1 comment

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