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Your marriage is in trouble. You’ve known this for a while, but you don’t have a solution. You’re unsure of what to do and where to go next. Everything feels hopeless. What do you do when your marriage hits the rocks?
Acknowledge the Problems and Talk
The first step is to acknowledge the problems. Why is your marriage in trouble? What has happened? What are the ongoing issues? Make a list of the problems with your partner and work out a solution for each one. There are no easy fixes but acknowledging the issues is a good place to start.
You may reach the conclusion that you just can’t get past an issue. If you have tried everything to fix things but know in your heart that it is over, then accept this and take legal advice. A company like Skillern Firm can help you through the process.
Don’t Try to Change Your Partner
Don’t attempt to change your partner or their behavior. Instead, focus on yourself. Work out what you can change to make things better and focus your energy there. Only your partner can change him/herself, and they must go through the same process. If they see that you are making an effort to develop, they are more likely to look at their own feelings and actions.
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Arguing, nit-picking and bickering will get you nowhere. Forget about making a point and justifying it with arguments. Cut out all the negative comments and one-upmanship. Instead, surprise your partner by treating them with kindness.
Set a time when you can both sit down and discuss the problems calmly. Try to reach a conclusion together. Don’t take on too much too soon. You will feel disheartened if it fails. Instead, accept that it will take time. Consider enlisting the help of a couples therapist if you can’t tackle this yourself.
Take Time Away from the Problems
This might be hard to do but try taking time away from your problems. If your marriage is in trouble, then you want to focus on fixing it. That’s natural. But try to factor in times when you don’t talk about your marriage. Arrange dates and fun things to do together. Enjoy each other’s company again.
Focus on the Positive
Focus on the positive things in your marriage. Respond positively to your partner. Offer praise and kindness. Be more affectionate and loving. Try to rekindle some of your earlier dating days. This goes two ways, of course. Your partner must also respond to you in a kind and positive way. Read our post on how to give your relationship a quick boost.
Ask ten different couples what makes a successful marriage. It is likely you would receive many different responses. What makes your marriage happy and healthy is unique to you and your partner. Communication is vital. But it’s not just what you say; it’s the way you say it. Be positive and be kind. Make changes within yourself but don’t try to change your partner. Figure out what makes your marriage happy and nurture it.