What Your Favorite Brand Says About You


What your favorite brand says about you… because stereotyping is fun.

Juicy Couture

  • You and your significant other have matching track suits.
  • You drink nonfat soy lattes.
  • Your favorite position is upward-facing dog.
  • You only pretend to like yoga so that you can post yoga selfies to Instagram.
  • You secretly have a BeDazzler in you closet.
  • The writing on the butt of your favorite short shorts says more about you than a thousand words.

Lucky Brand

  • You love the smell of “musk”.
  • You recycle.
  • You own every Brittany Spears album to date.
  • And you sing “Baby One More Time” off-key, in the shower, on a daily basis.
  • You are a fiscal Republican and a social Democrat.
  • You’re just a t-shirt, blue-jeans, fear-of-commitment kind of girl.

Louis Vuitton 

  • You have a trust fund.
  • You pretend not to be into labels, but you’re totally into labels.
  • When you are 47 you will still refer to your father as ‘daddy’.
  • Your ideal first date involves a hot air ballon.
  • You keep ’emergency Godiva’ on hand like most people keep milk.
  • You say ‘totes magotes’ in casual conversation as often as possible.

Hot Topic

  • You believe that you’re misunderstood.
  • And you let the world know it.
  • You can’t fall asleep without the help of Lunesta and Avril Lavigne Pandora.
  • When you do sleep, you wear an oversized Fall Out Boy t-shirt to bed (The ‘old’ Fall Out Boy, not the ‘new’ Fall Out Boy).
  • You say your favorite group is A Day to Remember, but it’s really Evanescence.
  • Someday, you’ll be rich for creating a new brand of organic liquid eyeliner.

jcp (JC Penney’s)

  • You wear Mom jeans.
  • You were making wreaths out of left over wine corks before Pinterest was cool.
  • You are frugal.
  • Sometimes you watch SpongeBob SquarePants while you’re getting ready in the morning.
  • Your house smells like pine needle scented candles, all year-round.
  • You own and use calligraphy pens.


  • You can name every episode of Sonny With a Chance.
  • You like to crimp your hair.
  • Turquoise eye shadow makes your eyes “pop”.
  • You wear homemade tutus to sporting events.
  • Your guilty pleasure is stealing your sister’s Seventeen magazines.
  • You’re a tween.

HCo. (Hollister Co.)

  • You pretend your life is taking place on the set of Laguna Beach (And you’re Kristin Cavallari).
  • Fake-baking was/is your favorite after school activity.
  • You believe that “everything you need to know is in that first kiss”.
  • You don’t eat carbs.
  • You’ve probably explored your sexuality more than people who just shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.

Victoria’s Secret

  • It’s not a good day if your underwear doesn’t match your bra.
  • You don’t think there is anything wrong with the word “panties”.
  • You don’t know how much perfume is too much perfume.
  • You’re ‘playing the field’ when it comes to men and diet plans.
  • Last year, you ate an entire carton of Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry’s while watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

Victoria’s Secret PINK

  • You own at least 7 pairs of yoga pants.
  • You believe that yoga pants count as dress pants.
  • You have at least 11.1K tweets.
  • You, like, hate girls who are basic. Almost as much as you hate being called basic.
  • You bring a tumbler to the gym.

Bonus: You ‘Only Shop Vintage’

  • You try to only buy things that are made out of Hemp.
  • Once, you were arrested for chaining yourself to a tree/building that was set to be destroyed.
  • You secretly found inner peace behind the bars of your jail cell.
  • You buy 200 dollar loofahs.
  • You only drink herbal teas.
  • Your cat is named after a famous activist.


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  1. Sharon Siqueiros says


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