What Your Favorite Brand Says About You
What your favorite brand says about you… because stereotyping is fun.
- You and your significant other have matching track suits.
- You drink nonfat soy lattes.
- Your favorite position is upward-facing dog.
- You only pretend to like yoga so that you can post yoga selfies to Instagram.
- You secretly have a BeDazzler in you closet.
- The writing on the butt of your favorite short shorts says more about you than a thousand words.
- You love the smell of “musk”.
- You recycle.
- You own every Brittany Spears album to date.
- And you sing “Baby One More Time” off-key, in the shower, on a daily basis.
- You are a fiscal Republican and a social Democrat.
- You’re just a t-shirt, blue-jeans, fear-of-commitment kind of girl.
- You have a trust fund.
- You pretend not to be into labels, but you’re totally into labels.
- When you are 47 you will still refer to your father as ‘daddy’.
- Your ideal first date involves a hot air ballon.
- You keep ’emergency Godiva’ on hand like most people keep milk.
- You say ‘totes magotes’ in casual conversation as often as possible.
- You believe that you’re misunderstood.
- And you let the world know it.
- You can’t fall asleep without the help of Lunesta and Avril Lavigne Pandora.
- When you do sleep, you wear an oversized Fall Out Boy t-shirt to bed (The ‘old’ Fall Out Boy, not the ‘new’ Fall Out Boy).
- You say your favorite group is A Day to Remember, but it’s really Evanescence.
- Someday, you’ll be rich for creating a new brand of organic liquid eyeliner.
jcp (JC Penney’s)
- You wear Mom jeans.
- You were making wreaths out of left over wine corks before Pinterest was cool.
- You are frugal.
- Sometimes you watch SpongeBob SquarePants while you’re getting ready in the morning.
- Your house smells like pine needle scented candles, all year-round.
- You own and use calligraphy pens.
- You can name every episode of Sonny With a Chance.
- You like to crimp your hair.
- Turquoise eye shadow makes your eyes “pop”.
- You wear homemade tutus to sporting events.
- Your guilty pleasure is stealing your sister’s Seventeen magazines.
- You’re a tween.
HCo. (Hollister Co.)
- You pretend your life is taking place on the set of Laguna Beach (And you’re Kristin Cavallari).
- Fake-baking was/is your favorite after school activity.
- You believe that “everything you need to know is in that first kiss”.
- You don’t eat carbs.
- You’ve probably explored your sexuality more than people who just shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.
- It’s not a good day if your underwear doesn’t match your bra.
- You don’t think there is anything wrong with the word “panties”.
- You don’t know how much perfume is too much perfume.
- You’re ‘playing the field’ when it comes to men and diet plans.
- Last year, you ate an entire carton of Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry’s while watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Victoria’s Secret PINK
- You own at least 7 pairs of yoga pants.
- You believe that yoga pants count as dress pants.
- You have at least 11.1K tweets.
- You, like, hate girls who are basic. Almost as much as you hate being called basic.
- You bring a tumbler to the gym.
Bonus: You ‘Only Shop Vintage’
- You try to only buy things that are made out of Hemp.
- Once, you were arrested for chaining yourself to a tree/building that was set to be destroyed.
- You secretly found inner peace behind the bars of your jail cell.
- You buy 200 dollar loofahs.
- You only drink herbal teas.
- Your cat is named after a famous activist.