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10 Funniest “Bad Teacher” Quotes

Bad Teacher” is a movie about Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz), a self-absored woman who is teaching for “shorter hours, summers off” and “no accountability.” At the beginning, she quits teaching after a year because, she’s banking on marrying her rich fiance, but that plan soon goes down the drain after he finds out she’s only in it for the money.

After being forced to return to teaching, she soon runs into Scott (Justin Timberlake), a wealthy substitute teacher, and decides she needs breast implants to win his heart and wallet… With plastic surgery on her mind, she makes it her mission to save up for it, no matter what it takes. Laugh after laugh, the film brings us along to witness the unfolding of her scheme and the wild things one determined woman will do or say for cosmetic surgery. Read below our picks for the ten funniest quotes.

1.  “No, it’s medicinal marijuana. I have a prescription and everything. But I’m not gonna tell you why, because it’s between me and my doctor.”

Elizabeth to one of her students, Sasha (Kaitlyn Dever) when she is caught smoking it in her car. Let’s just say it isn’t really medicinal.

2. “It’s a pretty inspiring message to the kids. We should never stop working on ourselves. Like you with your little boobs or me experimenting with ethnic food.”

Scott to Elizabeth on the bus during the field trip. He asks her if she’s excited about the surgery and Elizabeth says she’s never been more excided about anything. This is his response…

3. “Oh, sorry, Santa. Sorry, Jesus.”

Philip (Rick Overton), Garett’s (Matthew J. Evans) uncle says this after Christmas dinner, following Garett’s reciting of a poem he wrote. After Garett finishes, Philip says, “I loved it, and I usually hate poetry.” Garett’s mom, Melody (Molly Shannon) reprimands him for using the word “hate” on Christmas and this is what he says.

4. “Wally! Can’t you see she is manipulating you through use of dolphins?”

Amy (Lucy Punch) to Principle Wally Snur (John Michael Higgins) when trying to “expose” Elizabeth for smoking marijuana. To support how nice he thinks she is, Wally shows Amy a dolphin figurine Elizabeth gave him as a “gift.”

5. “If I think about it, will I get extra credit?”

Sasha asks this after Elizabeth asks her if being president is something Sasha wants to do or something her parents wants her to do and that she doesn’t have to decide right away. “Who knows? One day, you wake up, you decide to be a masseuse. Salary plus tips. Think about it.” -Elizabeth

6.  “Yeah, I don’t know her that well. I know all the other teachers really hate her guts, but I stay above all that stuff.”

Elizabeth to Scott, when he expresses interest in Amy. Elizabeth panicks and immediately tries to dissuade his feelings with this among other things.

7. “What do you know? You don’t even know our names.”

Garrett Tiara bitterly, to Elizabeth when she is giving him advice about his crush on a popular girl at school. She basically tells him it’s never going to happen with that kind of girl.

8. “Well, I’m glad I wore my fun underwear.”

Lynn (Phyllis Smith), a fellow teacher says it when she finally musters up the courage to flirt with someone at the Saloon.

9. “Let’s get baked…goods. We’re gonna go get some baked goods.”

Elizabeth accidentally says “let’s get baked,” to Russel, the gym teacher and realizes a student nearby heard her. To protect her job, she adds the “goods” part at the end, but we all know what she really meant.

10. “Hey, uh, you’re not gonna teach again next year, are you?…I’m just saying maybe you should consider doing something else. Like, anything else. Like, any other job in the entire world.”

Russel Gettis (Jason Segel), a gym teacher says this to Elizabeth towards the end of the film, after he signs her yearbook.

Hope you enjoyed this one. What did you think? Comment below your favorite moments and quotes.

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