We all know who Paris Hilton and Nichole Richie are, but chances are, if you were born after the year 2000, you probably haven’t experienced the masterpiece that is The Simple Life. The show ran from 2003-2007 and gave us some of the most iconic quotes of that decade. For those who don’t know, The Simple Life featured Hilton and Richie traveling across America to live with ordinary families. The girls have to ditch their credit cards and work for a living, all while trying to get along with the townies. After discovering that the entire series is available on Amazon Prime, I proceeded to spend my entire weekend binging the show. After much strenuous deliberation, I present my list of the 10 best quotes from the show below.
“What is Walmart? Do they, like, sell wall stuff?”
This is what Paris responds after Nichole asks their host family if they spend their free time hanging out at Walmart.
“That is Earth. It’s hot. Don’t Pollute.”
How could we forget about when Paris Hilton single-handedly ended climate change?
“What? You take your laundry somewhere to wash your *own* clothes?”
On this episode of The Simple Life, Nichole reveals that she doesn’t know what a laundromat is. To this, Paris responds, “a laundromat is where people who can’t afford to buy their own washing machine or drying machine clean their clothes. Like, you go, like, put 25-cents in and, like, clean clothes… I’ve seen it in movies. Like, in 40 Days and 40 Nights, remember Josh Hartnett?”
“Do they sell Marc Jacobs or Chanel in this grocery store?”
Paris, this is The Simple Life. The grocery store only has Michael Kors!
“I don’t like good-looking guys. I like them skinny and pale, like they’re dying.”
Okay but… same.
“You guys should make it, like, a little edgier, you know? Like, maybe add some cigarette burns.”
In this episode, The Simple Life takes Nichole and Paris to a small town in the south. During a knitting session with some elderly women, Nichole asks if they can spice up their designs a little. That’s hot.
“I think if you had less clothes on it’d be sexier and they’d wake up.”
During a lesson on CPR, Nichole brings up a good point about reviving a victim.
“Sanassa, sansa, sanassa, sansaa”
We may not have ever understood what it meant, but we could always count on Nichole to interject any conversation with this phrase.
And finally, the two phrases that now constitute 50% of my vocabulary. Seriously, they work for any response.
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