10 Ways to Get Over a Breakup

There is only one ultimate healer of breakup wounds—time. It feels hopeless after heartbreak to sit back and wait for the pain to subside, but there are many things we can do to encourage healing and make that time go by a little faster.

1. Date

No method for moving on from an ex is perfect for everyone, and dating right after a break up is a contentious idea. If you are the type to rush into relationships, jumping back into the dating game is not for you. But otherwise, going out and meeting new and interesting people can be a good reminder that the proverbial sea is teeming with fish. You can also learn a lot about yourself by socializing.

2. Hang Out in the Friend Zone

One common relationship downside is that you end up spending less time with your close friends. It’s not that there is any love lost–when you are wrapped up in a significant other it just feels like there will always be next time with friends. Take advantage of the new openings in your schedule and recommit to your friendships. Catch up with the team of people you hold dear to you and set out to share a special experience like a hike, bungee jumping, or, you know, something tame and indoors. There are so many people there for you, so no need to focus on the one who let you get away.

3. Make it Facebook Official

Social media feels handy and sweet when you are posting pictures of you and your S.O. But it can be a downright dreadful reminder if the relationship goes south. After a breakup, purge your social profiles so that a casual check of your newsfeed does not turn into a descent into memory hell. You should be able to connect with your peers in the present without having to revisit your past. And go ahead, unfriend or block him or her. If it feels petty, you’re actually giving Facebook’s tenuous, digital connections too much credit. Unburden yourself of the potential to be confronted with the goings-on of your ex-partner’s life without you, and also of the need to feign happiness or otherwise perform in case his eyes scan your page.

4. Delete his or her phone number

The temptation to reach out after a break up can be overwhelming, no matter how much you know you shouldn’t do it. Create a barrier between you and a text message you’ll regret. Just delete his number. It can feel drastic, disconnecting yourself from that person, but it helps preclude conversations that lead to the cyclical hope and despair that stunts our healing. Even if you know the phone number by heart, the brief effort it takes to type it in maybe the moment you need to reconsider.

5. Get physical

We have all heard that exercise releases endorphins, which makes us feel happy. If that sounds like mumbo-jumbo, you can’t deny that punching the hell out of a speed bag probably feels really good when you are pissed off at your ex. The gym is a good repository for the anger you might be harboring. Getting in a few reps is helpful in physically expressing emotional tension and frustration. Not to mention, the gains you see from working out will boost your self-esteem.

6. Commit yourself to a goal

Often we count the days after a breakup, telling time by anniversaries that won’t take place or counting the days we don’t reach out to our exes. Committing yourself a goal gives you something to move toward totally removed from the person you’re no longer with. If a regimented goal like hitting the gym four times a week typically doesn’t work for you, try a more abstract aim, like finally doing a shoulder stand in yoga or being able to have a short conversation with your neighbor in her native language.

7. Express what you’re feeling

But NOT to your ex. That will push you deeper into a negative cycle that could end with more regret than you started with. Instead try writing, drawing or posting an anonymous blog. If you aren’t feeling that creative, even singing along with your favorite break up songs can be cathartic. Privately externalizing your feelings can help you cope in a way that can’t bring you any more grief from you-know-who. If you’re up to it, share the outcome of your work with friends and bond over the all too common, totally human breakup response.

8. Set a new routine

If your day-to-day habits revolved around your partner it’s time to set a new routine. That doesn’t mean giving up your favorite things or everything you’re used to. DVR the show you guys used to watch together and save it for later. Try a different coffee place at the weekend. Start with small adjustments that will prevent jabbing reminders in the short term, and in the long term show you that life will indeed go on.

9. Take stock of what you know now that you didn’t then

Relationships, no matter how long or short, are excellent learning opportunities. We can really stun ourselves when we look back and see how much we have grown through our entanglement with another person. Sometimes you realize a number of things you don’t want in a partner and sometimes a relationship can help crystallize the things that you truly appreciate and can’t do without. Focusing on personal growth post-breakup helps to bring positivity and progress to the experience.

10. Let yourself grieve

The end of a relationship can feel like an intense loss. Even if you are working hard at every method of getting over a relationship you will still feel the pangs of emotion that come with trying to move on. Cry, rip stuff up, spend a weekend in bed with a book and your dog. Don’t give yourself too hard of a time for being human.


Remember, heartbreak is hard and everyone deals with it differently. It is okay to feel however you feel. Hopefully, these tips will help you and give you some ideas to help you during this time! It may sound cliche but just remember what’s mean to be will eventually find its way to you, including love! 

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