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100 Best Quotes from Netflix’s Wine Country

Netflix’s film titled Wine Country follows six close girlfriends who are celebrating one of their own’s 50th birthdays by staying in a rental in Napa Valley, the wine capital of the U.S. As the wine flows so do the secrets that each friend has kept hidden which leads to a hilarious and heartfelt weekend.

The director and star of the film Amy Poehler, has created a movie that touches on the realities of turning 50 and maintaining close friendships as you age with a comedic twist. If you enjoy watching comedies that focus on friendship and getting drunk on wine, then Wine Country is the movie for you!

Here’s the scoop on the best quotes from Netflix’s Wine Country!

1. “I just want to meet a nice lady and I want to make out for a while and then spoon a little bit and then that spooning can turn into a real spirited sixty-nining.” -Val

2. “How can I be generous in my assumptions of others when I hate most people?” -Jenny

3. “Guys, I fucked Devon.” -Abby

4. “God, fuck this organic shit!” -Naomi 

5. “How old are you turning, little mama, 21?” -Devon

Devon playing guitar while sitting on a van in wine country
Colleen Hayes

6. “I wish Prince’s ghost would come back and serenade me for like two whole hours and then make sweet sweet love to me.” -Naomi

7. “I did Molly in college, but she went back to her boyfriend.” -Val 

8. “So, what am I looking at here, a high school tennis team, old dance crew, or ya’ll magically fit in the same pair of pants.” -Tammy 

9. “I wish I’d never seen Dateline with the blacklight where they showed where the semen was.”- Jenny

10. “Mama needs to rock out with her cock out.” – Naomi 

11. “So, ladies, we have lavender popping corn, and besides that, there’s a demi cruet of fleur de sel for you to sprinkle on for a light zest.” -Jade 

12. “Ho Ho Ho Merry Vagmas and my name’s Dilda Claus.” -Val 

13. “So, we take a really small amount of MDMA, and, apparently, it can create this common experience that’s like super bonding.” -Catherine

14. “Oh, fuck Ronald McDonald for making Filet-O-Fish. Fuck him ten ways from Sunday.” -Val

15. “I will always catch your motherfucking guitar, ‘cause you are my rock.” -Naomi 

16. “I go whole days without speaking.” -Tammy 

Tammy standing in a field
Colleen Hayes

17. “From one old lady to another, get over all your shit, ‘cause it is later than you think.” -Lady Sunshine 

18. “My soul age is 28.” -Rebecca

19. “I want to dedicate this song to my beautiful friend Rebecca. This is for you, honey tits.” -Naomi

20. “That was an important ‘oof,’ because it confirmed to me that I’m a complete piece of shit and that’s what made me the writer I am today.” -Jenny

21. “Ladies, we are gonna grab this day by the motherfucking balls!” -Rebecca

22. “You are acting like a millennial.” -Catherine

23. “Lady Sunshine was for real. I bet if we looked it up on the internet, we’d find out she’s been dead for 50 years.” -Jenny

24. “Just get to the bush and you’re fine from there. That’s what she said.” -Naomi 

25. “Let me guess Dr. Dickswing, it’s because of her period.” -Val 

26. “When I get home and if there is venom in my ankle, I’m gonna come back here and make sure you personally suck it out.” -Naomi 

27. “It’s my birthday and I’m not gonna lay here and watch the fucking clouds go by.” -Rebecca 

Rebecca and Catherine relaxing in a bed in wine country
Colleen Hayes

28. “Guess he really did come with the house.” -Catherine 

29. “I can’t wait to see you guys and pinch all your butts… with consent.” -Val

30. “Once you’ve looked in the eye of a raccoon, you know your truth.” -Rebecca 

31. “Just remember guys, whatever gets said it’s probably what the person has always felt, and the alcohol just let it out.” -Tammy

32. “Jade, we’re really hungry, so we’re gonna order really fast and we know what we want, so maybe you should get some water, and then I’ll tell you about our food allergies.” -Abby

33. “We were like sisters in the trenches, like the pizza trenches.” -Naomi 

34. “This is expensive, and this is cheap as shit from the dollar store so remove hat before use.” -Val 

35. “What did I say last night? I feel like I went on and on about somebody’s mom.” -Jenny 

36. “I thought MDMA was that extreme fighting… wait, do they do coke and then they fight?” -Val

37. “So, if you see some beautiful spot, and you say to yourself: ‘I’d like to get up close and personal with that vista, but the terrain is clearly a no-go,” think again. I got you.’ -Devon 

38. “I just wanna say that we never know where life is gonna take us. So, let’s live for today and party till our panties fly off.” -Naomi 

Naomi drunk singing while laying on a piano in wine country
Colleen Hayes

39. “Because whenever I sniff candles, I always have to poop.” -Jenny 

40. “Let me know when it all falls into place ‘cause last time I checked; this world’s pretty fucking selfish.” -Abby 

41. “I feel like the universe is gently nudging you to chill.” -Rebecca

42. “Pedro, is the password still ‘penisgrigio72?'” -Tammy

43. “I’d love to stick around and snuggle, but the paella is probably peaking.” -Devon 

44. “It’s the ghost of Amelia Earhart and she’s holding a small baby.” -Jenny 

Abby, Val, Jenny, Catherine, Naomi, and Rebecca taking a group photo
Colleen Hayes

45. “Everybody get their stretchy clothes on ‘cause we’re gonna keep this party going!” -Abby

46. “Well, you all obviously have an entire haunted forest of toxic jibber-jabber to get through, so I’m gonna skedaddle.” -Tammy 

47. “It’s when a thousand kids are in your bed, and the only touch you feel is a tiny sweaty foot to the back.” -Naomi 

48. “You know Brian would just take her to Macaroni Grill, and then she’d have to drive home because he had too much to drink.” – Val 

49. “Let’s stop dicking around.” -Tammy

50. “Make less deals and more squeals.” -Val 

51. “Dicktasting… what the hell is that?” -Catherine

52. “I mean, I wanna yes this, but I’m just wondering how does Molly interact with the drugs I’m currently taking?” – Rebecca

53. “He had eyes like a beautiful newborn fawn.” -Jenny 

54. “Are you saying I should put my knees before other’s needs?” -Val 

55. “You need to help shed the tough skins that have built up over time… if you are to remain friends.” -Lady Sunshine 

Lady Sunshine instructing Abby to smudge the room in wine country
Colleen Hayes

56. “It’s got kind of a garbage flavor, but the soap helps with the aftertaste.” -Tammy

57. “I would work at a bookstore, like a crunchy bookstore in Portland or Seattle, somewhere rainy and moody.” -Abby 

58. “You don’t know my shoes bitch!” -Naomi 

59. “Maybe it’ll be a cute little Colonel Sanders chin going on down there.” -Rebecca

60. “Hey guys, can we put our t-shirts on so we can get to the pavilion and take a super fun drone shot?” -Abby

61. “I love my birthday, I’m a Leo.” -Namoi

62. “I used to drive miles in the middle of the night just to go to this little newsstand by the bus station just to find lesbo porn.” -Val

63. “Art has been my raison d’être since literally my first moment of consciousness.” -Jade

64. “I’m uncomfortable in any one-on-one situation unless I can win.” -Tammy 

65.  “It really wasn’t until I met these girls that I experienced family.” -Catherine 

Catherine, Abby, Jenny, Naomi, and Rebecca having a wine dance party
Colleen Hayes

66. “I need to know that we’re all gonna be there for each other, because this group is sacred to me, and if we can’t get through a weekend together well, then I’m completely lost.” -Naomi 

67. “Any chance we could have sex?” -Devon

68. “Number one, I’m in a shitty marriage. Brian is a world-class ding dong.” -Rebecca

69. “Holy shit, Kesha’s here?” -Naomi 

70. “I have to do this, I’m an artist. Can I take your picture?” -Jade 

71. “I hope these napkins aren’t haunted.” -Val

72. “I actually really resent it when people, especially other women, automatically assume, when they see a group of us that we’re gonna fight.” -Catherine 

73. “The feedback I offered her, as corny as it sounds, is ‘Age is truly just a number.'” -Rebecca 

74. “You guys should have come to my divorce party, there was a really great band.” -Abby

Abby, Rebecca, and Val listening to Devon ramble
Colleen Hayes

75. “I love you turkeys so much.” -Naomi 

76. “I’m a psychic, not Magellan.” -Lady Sunshine

77. “I’m Devon, I come with the house. Think of me as your driver, your tour guide, your chef.” -Devon 

78. “A little advice for today, if you or anyone around you starts a sentence with ‘Can I just say something?’ stop right there.” -Tammy 

79. “I’m not giving you your precious phone back until you start flossing.” -Naomi 

80. “I just spent $750.” -Jenny

81. “Put me in my finest muumuu!” -Rebecca 

82. “You gotta get contestants on that show that are kids because I love watching kids with knives.” -Tammy 

83. “We are exactly where we need to be. We’re doing fine. Fran Fine.” -Abby

Abby waking up hungover to Devon cooking in the kitchen in wine country
Colleen Hayes

84. “Do you think throwing the itineraries out the window was on the itinerary?” -Naomi 

85. “Whatever we do we have to harmonize in here ‘cause the acoustics are the shit.” -Val

86. “We made edible organic soaps.” -Tammy 

87. “I hope you guys like the house. Let’s get drunk. Happy Birthday.” -Abby

The girls clinking their wine glasses to celebrate Rebecca's birthday trip
Colleen Hayes

88. “Loneliness is for suckers.” -Tammy

89. “So, let’s stop pretending that this weekend is about me because it’s all about you.” -Rebecca

90. “And what were the results of my fart test?” -Catherine 

91. “Oh, it’s just like our, you know, ‘That’s what she said. You know, ‘Things we say now.’” -Naomi 

92. “Have you ever tried that feedback thing on Brian?”-Abby 

93. “Let’s do DUI songs!” -Naomi

94. “I do not want to learn about wine on this trip.” -Jenny

Naomi, Val, and Jenny shopping for wine souvenirs in wine country
Colleen Hayes

95. “Funny story, I had some wine diamonds today, and I don’t feel so good.”-Naomi

96. “Ah, Brian and his jokes.” -Abby 

97. “I feel like hot garbage.” -Naomi 

98. “Cannot let a stranger stay a stranger.” -Jenny 

99. “I’m not coming after you. This is a dual storm out.” -Abby 

100. “This wall of shoe boxes should really snap her out of her mood.” -Catherine

Watch Wine Country on Netflix now!

I hope you loved these quotes from Netflix’s Wine Country! If you enjoyed this post make sure you check out these related articles:

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