The Netflix miniseries is a dark comedy and primarily a parody of popular mystery thrillers like The Girl on the Train and Rear Window. Kristen Bell stars as the grief-stricken main character who believes she has witnessed a murder.
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window falters a bit with its pacing, but Kristen Bell’s performance certainly makes up for it. And of course, the best part about this miniseries is its brilliant quotable moments!
Here’s the scoop on the best quotes from The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window!
1. “My husband told me I have an over active imagination.” – Anna
2. “When your past is so present, how can there be a future?” – Anna
3. “There are monsters. They’re just not under the bed.” – Anna
4. “I’ve gotten so used to nightmares I almost forgot what it’s like to dream.”– Anna
5. “We tell children so many lies. Not to worry, not to be afraid, not to believe in monsters. But why don’t we tell them the truth?” – Anna
6. “Life is for the living… And so are casseroles. – Anna
7. “Our 9-year-old daughter was left alone with a man who the authorities nicknamed Massacre Mike.” – Anna
8. “There’s so many layers to casseroles, just like they are so many layers to a person.” – Anna
9. “To get to the bottom of something, sometimes you have to remind yourself that if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.” – Anna
10. “Jesus, what does that woman do? Just stare out her window all day?” – Anna
11. “F*ck you for buying all the chocolate bars with almonds!” – Anna
12. “It’s my stupid ombrophobia.” – Anna
13. “I need a f*cking drink.” – Anna
14. “You’re just stuck in the present with your past.” – Anna
15. “I know. I wish I was in my pajamas staying home with you tonight too.” – Anna
16. “So, do you just… You just sit here all day and watch these people?” – Sloane
17. “Because I’m dead.” — Elizabeth
18. “Elizabeth died that day, but you did not have to die with her.” – Sloane
19. “We were so happy once.” – Anna
20. “I was so talented once.” – Anna
21. “That sometimes I speak with a British accent even though I’m not British.” – Anna
22. “Oh baby girl, I just feel like I’m falling apart. Like a house of cards. Or like a sandcastle when the tide has come in… I don’t know.” – Anna
23. “He’s right, about all of it. That’s why he left me.” – Anna
24. “I said I’m not. Jesus. I’m so sick of talking I could scream. I mean, I feel like I could kill somebody.” – Anna
25. “It’s tragic. But you can’t be a victim for the rest of your life.” – Carol
26. “Jesus. Love yourself much? – Anna
27. “Do you know what an eggplant emoji means?” – Anna
28. “Can you stop telling people that I have a drinking problem?” – Anna
29. “Talk to me when your kid dies and we’ll see how bat sh*t crazy you are!” – Anna
30. “But I do not feel bad for you anymore, and I will not pray for you anymore.” – Carol
31. “Seriously Anna. You are no longer in my prayers.” – Carol
32. “Who the f*ck is this girl?”– Anna
33. “Whatcha making?” – Anna
34. “French omelettes. The secret is how you whisk the eggs. Everyone whisks their eggs too fast. But you got to take your time, and then you got to cook it low and slow.” – Rex
35. “Do you do everything low and slow?” – Anna
36. “What does that mean?” – Rex
37. “I don’t know, I’m sorry. I’m not good at sexy talk.” – Anna
38. “When did I paint that?” – Anna
39. “I know I have to. I just…don’t know how.” – Anna
40. “You put on a dress, you do your make up. You’re too cute to be sad forever.” – Carol
41. “Bingo.” – Anna
42. “We released Rex Bakke.” – Detective Lane
43. “He had an airtight alibi. CCTV shows him at Wild Bill’s the night of the murder. The only thing he slayed was his dance routine.” – Detective Lane
44. “Is there anything about Buell that you didn’t tell me back when you hired him to fix our mailbox… all those years ago?” – Anna
45. “Like what?” – Douglas
46. “Like about his past. How did he become our handyman?” – Anna
47. “He was my patient.” – Douglas
48. “Your patient?” – Anna
49. “My very first patient. I, um, rehabilitated him and… and got him released early.” – Douglas
50. “From where?” – Anna
51. “State hospital. He had been found criminally insane.” – Douglas
52. “What did he do?” – Anna
53. “He killed his entire family with a claw hammer.” – Douglas
54. “Why did you not tell me about this before?” – Anna
55. “Well, I didn’t think you’d want him to work for us.” – Douglas
56. “I wouldn’t have!” – Anna
57. “But we needed someone to fix the mailbox.” – Douglas
58. “It’s still not fixed!” – Anna
59. “Carol said she saw what she thought was a confrontation between you and Chastity. Said you jumped out of your car, left it running in the middle of the street, kind of got in her face…” – Detective Lane
60. “How do I keep forgetting that?” – Anna
61. “I think you should paint again. You’re too good.” – Neil
62. “And the biggest risk you can take is to risk nothing.” – Anna
63. “So maybe, from all the way over here, that red scarf could look like blood, especially if you’ve had all this wine.” – Detective Lane
64. “Hi. That sign over there says that, uh, you’ll be flying to the West Coast next year.” – Anna
65. “Right.” – Airline Assistant
66. “So, right now Olympia Airlines doesn’t fly to the West Coast?” – Anna
67. “Correct. Not until next year.” – Airline Assistant
68. “So currently, you don’t fly to Seattle?” – Anna
69. “Currently, Seattle’s on the West Coast. I need to help this gentleman out. Or sorry, did you have more geography questions?” – Airline Assistant
70. “That was really touching what you said about your brother. – Eileen
71. “Yeah. These things are hard to talk about.” – Anna
72. “Oh, no. I meant the words. Autoerotic axphys… . Asphyxiation. It’s… literally hard to pronounce.” – Eileen
73. “How you feeling?” – Detective Lane
74. “Like I was hit by a Mack truck, driven by a 9-year-old.” – Anna
75. “If lying to your romantic partner was a crime, everybody would be in jail.” – Detective Lane
76. “I can’t have imagined that.” – Anna
77. “None of this makes any sense.” – Anna
78. “I know what grief can do. It can make you feel crazy.” – Neil
79. “You had to have heard something last night.” – Anna
80. “As a matter of fact, I did. I heard police sirens that woke up my boys.” – Carol
81. “And if you risk nothing what you’re really doing is risking not getting to the bottom of something.” – Anna
82. “Where is the blood?” – Anna
83. “You broke into my house?” – Neil
84. “First of all, she’s dead.” – Anna
85. “Stay away from me and my daughter.” – Neil
86. “Someone’s gotta believe me.” – Anna
87. “I believe you’re in a ton of pain.” – Sloane
88. “No. I am telling you I saw her.” – Anna
89. “You see Elizabeth too.” – Sloane
90. “Jesus. Oh my God. You’re right.” – Anna
91. “I’m here because I woke up this morning convinced I witnessed a murder.” – Anna
92. “Maybe I’m afraid that if I get better, I’ll forget about her.” – Anna
93. “I mean, I have a shrink, but I lie to him.” – Anna
94. “I also don’t think I was really in a place to listen.” – Anna
95. “Do not go down that road again. It’s the grief.” – Anna
96. “Maybe she didn’t want him to know where she was going.” – Detective Lane
97. “What about the earring? This is evidence.” – Anna
98. “Or maybe you’re just a mother whose daughter was murdered in the most horrific way possible.” – Detective Lane
99. “I took an oath to seek justice, not vengeance.” – Detective Lane
100. “I wish I could make it up to you, but all I can do is look out for you.” – Detective Lane
If you enjoyed reading about our favorite quotes from The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window be sure to watch the show on Netflix!
What was your favorite quote? Comment below!
For the scoop on more quotes, check out these articles: