150 Best Quotes From Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls is an American comedy-drama television series set in the fictional town of Stars Hollow in Connecticut. The show is centered around Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter, Rory, that explores family dynamics, friendships, and relationships.

If you’re looking for a show to watch that you’ll never get tired of, Gilmore Girls fits the bill, especially with their memorable quotes!

Here’s the scoop on the best quotes from Gilmore Girls!

1. “You’ve got such a great brain!” -Rory Gilmore

2. “You have so many years and screw-ups ahead of you.” -Lorelai Gilmore

3. “I live in two worlds. One is a world of books.” -Rory Gilmore

4. “I don’t like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around, eventually.” -Lorelai Gilmore

5. “I’m afraid that once your heart’s involved, it all comes out in moron.” -Lorelai Gilmore

6. “I love you, you idiot.” -Rory Gilmore

7. “No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food.” -Paris Geller

8. “A little nervous breakdown can work wonders for a girl.” -Rory Gilmore

9. “There’s a phone call for you and if I’m to fetch you like a dog, I’d like a cookie and a raise.” -Michel Gerard

10. “Hey, I have a huge dilemma that I need your opinion on. Am I more beautiful today than yesterday?” -Lorelai Gilmore

11. “You jump, I jump jack.” -Rory Gilmore

12. “I made a list of enemies, which I’ve narrowed down from 26 to 5.” -Paris Geller

13. “Relationships need verbs.” -Lorelai Gilmore

14. “Pay for it this time.” -Dean Forester

15. “I just take a book with me everywhere. It’s a habit.” -Rory Gilmore

16. “Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.” -Lorelai Gilmore

17. “I smell snow.” -Lorelai Gilmore

18. “Reality has no place in our world.” -Lorelai Gilmore

19. “If you’re going to throw your life away, he’d better have a motorcycle.” -Lorelai Gilmore

20. “Look, when I was a teenager, my parents tried to keep me locked up. They tried to force me to become what they had in mind, and now I’m not talking exactly about Lane here, but in my case, it really didn’t work.” -Lorelai Gilmore

21. “Ernest only has lovely things to say about you.” -Jess Mariano

22. “But marriage is not about always being happy. It’s about compromise.” -Emily Gilmore

23. “I cannot do this alone, I need my mommy and I don’t care who knows it!” -Rory Gilmore

24. “Oh, do you see the books? Feel it. Feels good, right? Now smell it. Nothing, nothing smells like that.” -Rory Gilmore

25. “Hey, I have a New Year’s Resolution for you: Become more cynical and self-absorbed.” -Lorelai Gilmore

26. “And if eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” -Lorelai Gilmore

27. “You’re a book tease.” -Jess Mariano

28. “Well, you know my babbling capabilities are infinite.” -Lorelai Gilmore

29. “Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.” -Lorelai Gilmore

30. “Oh my god, he kissed me.” -Rory Gilmore

31. “People can live for a hundred years without living a minute.” -Logan Huntzberger

32. “I’m gonna have to quit drinking coffee, and I love coffee!” -Rory Gilmore

33. “I’m fine. I’m great. It’s a big, fat, happy, sunshine day for me.” -Luke Danes

34. “Think how dull your life would be without me.” -Jess Mariano

35. “Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card… just in case the prince is really dumb.” -Lorelai Gilmore

36. “I hate when I’m an idiot and don’t know it. I like being aware of my idiocy.” -Lorelai Gilmore

37. “I can’t believe we get to sit around and talk about books and get graded.” -Rory Gilmore

38. “I want to get the healthy glow of someone who consistently goes to the gym without actually having to go, of course.” -Kirk Gleason

39. “You can’t watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food.” -Lorelai Gilmore

40. “It’s all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang out with ‘til we drop dead.” -Lorelai Gilmore

41. “I’m here and now. I’m like cheese!” -Lorelai Gilmore

42. “I’m attracted to pie. It doesn’t mean I feel the need to date pie.” -Lorelai Gilmore

43. “I wanna be good, life’s just not letting me.” -Jess Mariano

44. “This adult stuff is hard, isn’t it?” -Lane Kim

45. “You do know that if you weren’t so pretty you would’ve gotten the crap kicked out of you every day of your life.” -Lorelai Gilmore

46. “Oy with the poodles already!” -Lorelai Gilmore

47. “I’m here because I enjoy books, and because I read books.” -Rory Gilmore

48. “I need that outfit. It gives me confidence.” -Rory Gilmore

49. “I need coffee in an IV.” -Lorelai Gilmore

50. “It is what it is. You, me.” -Jess Mariano

51. “I’ll help you shower when I become a superhero.” -Lorelai Gilmore

52. “My books look sad. Can books look sad?” -Rory Gilmore

53. “I just want you to know I’m in. I’m all in.” -Luke Danes

54. “I’m not broken. Maybe just a little chipped.” -Lorelai Gilmore

55. “I have liked you for some time now and I don’t think this feeling is going to go away.” -Lane Kim

56. “It’s my responsibility as your best friend to make sure you do exciting things, even when you don’t want to.” -Sookie St. James

57. “People are particularly stupid today.” -Michel Gerard

58. “Every relationship is just a big honking leap of faith.” -Rory Gilmore

59. “This town is like one big outpatient mental institution.” -Christopher Hayden

60. “I had a meeting at the bank earlier, they like callers.” -Luke Danes

61. “We could go to a bookstore, I’ll watch you browse for six or seven hours.” -Dean Forester

62. “I can’t talk to any more of them.” -Michel Gerard

63. “You’re full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you– I love it!” -Lorelai Gilmore

64. “It was a great kiss. If one of us had been a frog, it would have had some seriously impressive consequences.” -Lorelai Gilmore

65. “We’re almost there and nowhere near it. All that matters is that we’re going!” -Lorelai Gilmore

66. “I can be flexible, as long as everything is exactly the way I want.” -Lorelai Gilmore

67. “Oh, I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, and I stop doing the standing, walking, and words putting into sentence doing.” -Lorelai Gilmore

68. “Because my brain is a wild jungle of scary gibberish… Bicycle. Unicycle. Unitard. Hockey puck. Rattlesnake. Monkey, monkey, underpants.” -Lorelai Gilmore

69. “Are you ever gonna ask me out? You flirt with me. You act like you like me.” -Rory Gilmore

70. “I want to live my life so I can read an in-depth biography about myself in later years.” -Paris Geller

71. “Everything’s magical when it snows.” -Lorelai Gilmore

72. “I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.” -Lorelai Gilmore

73. “God, that’s terrible. It’s like drinking a My Little Pony.” -Luke Danes

74. “I’m going to make out in the coatroom. Don’t eat my chicken.” -Lorelai Gilmore

75. “Life’s short, talk fast.” -Lorelai Gilmore

76. “You gotta realize the only way out is in a body bag.” -Luke Danes

77. “You’re going to kiss me now? So incredibly predictable.” -Lorelai Gilmore

78. “There’s plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow.” -Lorelai Gilmore

79. “Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I’m planning on despising everyone who says, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’” -Lorelai Gilmore

80. “Now I’m supposed to look pretty and girly which is completely impossible because I’m gross and I have nothing to wear.” -Rory Gilmore

81. “You have to sleep, it’s what keeps you pretty.” -Lorelai Gilmore

82. “Hey, my mom’s not wearing any underwear!” -Rory Gilmore

83. “Everything in my life has something to do with coffee. I believe in a former life, I was coffee.” -Lorelai Gilmore

84. “I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic. It’s what I do.” -Lorelai Gilmore

85. “I’m having nightmares where I’m being chased by boxes with arms and they tackle me and throw clothes on top of me and secure it with masking tape and while I’m lying there, you’re standing in the corner laughing putting gel in your hair!” -Luke Danes

86. “Mom, you’ve given me everything I need.” -Rory Gilmore

87. “I don’t know if she ever realized the person I most wanted to be was her.” -Rory Gilmore

88. “My mother is fast asleep in my bed, clutching my Hello Kitty pillow, and yes, I have pictures.” -Lorelai Gilmore

89. “Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism.” -Lorelai Gilmore

90. “It’s times like these you realize what is ‘truly’ important in your life. I’m so glad I had all that sex.” -Miss Patty

91. “I don’t want to be that kind of girl. The kind of girl who just falls apart because she doesn’t have a boyfriend.” -Rory Gilmore

92. “What she tackles, she conquers.” -Richard Gilmore

93. “Gnome kicking says a lot about a man’s character.” -Babette Dell

94. “It’s always best to tell each other major life events, so there’s no awkwardness.” -Emily Gilmore

95. “I can go from zero to studying in less than 60 seconds!” -Rory Gilmore

96. “I need caffeine. Whatever form you’ve got it. I haven’t had any all day. I’ll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it’s in, gimme.” -Lorelai Gilmore

97. “Not in front of the books, Lane!” -Rory Gilmore

98. “Nothing says coffee like 6 in the morning.” -Lorelai Gilmore

99. “If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.” -Lorelai Gilmore

100. “Cranking Metallica. Is that some sort of drug reference, it’s not funny.” -Richard Gilmore

101. “Oh God, I hope nothing’s happened to him. You get so attached to their little faces, sometimes you can hear them talk to you at night.” -Babette Dell

102. “I will say anything for a cup of coffee.” -Lorelai Gilmore

103. “There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous creme pies you can just smash in somebody’s face. But this is definitely one of them.” -Lorelai Gilmore

104. “Did you ever know that you’re my hero?” -Lorelai Gilmore

105. “I’m so exhausted with incompetent people, I don’t know what to do anymore.” -Emily Gilmore

106. “Last Friday, two guys were tossing a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. It was a mess. Blood everywhere, the nurse came out, the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was freaking out. And you just sat there and read. You never even looked up. I thought ‘I’ve never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl.’” -Dean Forester

107. “Oh, people die, we pay. People crash a car, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.” -Richard Gilmore

108. “You can spend a lot of time sitting around and waiting for him to realize it’s his turn to ask you out, or you can run with the wolves and make it your turn again. You just want to let this opportunity pass? Call him.” -Lorelai Gilmore

109. “Having babies doesn’t mean you can’t be rock and roll!” -Zack Van Gerbig

110. “No, it’s National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot!” -Paris Geller

111. “Life’s been pretty good to you. It was your turn for a few curveballs. Peaks and valleys, kid.” -Lorelai Gilmore

112. “Don’t study so much that you get brilliant, go mad, grow a big bald egghead, and try to take over the world, OK? ‘Cause I want to go shoe shopping this weekend.” -Lorelai Gilmore

113. “Hi Daddy. OK, I know this is bad, and I know this probably brings back all the horrible aspects of my childhood life for you. But I am begging you, please, please do not make me go back down there because that guy is boring.” -Lorelai Gilmore

114. “Date Al from Pancake World, his food stinks.” -Rory Gilmore

115. “Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen by itself you better go get it a cape.” -Emily Gilmore

116. “You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world.” -Lorelai Gilmore

117. “Rory Gilmore, you should be ashamed of yourself, toying with these boys like this. They used to have pride. They used to have dignity. They used to have balls. Damn it, Gilmore! Give them back their balls!” -Finn

118. “I even cleaned the table using something other than the sleeve of my sweater and spit.” -Lorelai Gilmore

119. “No man is an island, but this woman is.” -Paris Geller

120. “Solidarity, sister.” -Lorelai Gilmore

121. “I will not go mad until we get you some boots.” -Rory Gilmore

122. “It’s people like you who are destroying the music industry.” -Lane Kim

123. “The Long Island Ice Tea makes you do things you normally wouldn’t do.” -Lorelai Gilmore

124. “​​It’s club soda, ace.” -Logan Huntzberger

125. “He’s like the lost Farrelly brother. He’s so stupid. He watched The Breakfast Club and decided to tape his own butt cheeks together.” -Rory Gilmore

126. “I need you. I need you here, I need you now.” -Rory Gilmore

127. “Man, she’s not shipping off to ‘Nam.” -Jess Mariano

128. “Do hookers charge to let you talk to them?” -Lorelai Gilmore

129. “I just want a little more coffee.” -Kirk Gleason

130. “You’ve got to be patient and wait for what you want to appear, then pounce.” -Michel Gerard

131. “You have to tell me why we’re committing a felony before we do it.” -Logan Huntzberger

132. “My sock drawer could be a better mother than Courtney Love.” -Rory Gilmore

133. “The Pop-Tart tasted like freedom and rebellion and independence.” -Lorelai Gilmore

134. “Ladies and gentlemen, the drama king and queen of Connecticut.” -Lorelai Gilmore

135. “I just don’t want to do or say anything else that’s going to be completely moronic.” -Rory Gilmore

136. “Breathe in, folks. Smells like fall.” -Taylor Doose

137. “You climb up here with me, it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.” -Logan Huntzberger

138. “I’m just a big, fat Wookie-humping loser with no future!” -Rory Gilmore

139. “Come here, You’ve got some dirt on your forehead. I’m sorry. It’s the sign of the devil. My mistake.” -Lorelai Gilmore

140. “Did you do something slutty?” -Rory Gilmore

141. “I just take a book with me everywhere. It’s a habit” -Rory Gilmore

142. “Every day that you breathe, you make my life harder.” -Michel Gerard

143. “Oh, I found that if I focus too much on one subject, I start to get a little punchy.” -Rory Gilmore

144. “My God, those are good genes.” -Rory Gilmore

145. “I can’t believe you’re going to a therapist. You know, they’re totally going to ask you about me.” -Lorelai Gilmore

146. “Loners come in all shapes and sizes– even pretty girls.” -Rory Gilmore

147. “You can use your mother’s old golf clubs. They’re upstairs, gathering dust, with the rest of her potential.” -Emily Gilmore

148. “God, you are like a pop-up book from hell.” -Rory Gilmore

149. “You really did only like me for my looks, huh?” -Logan Huntzberger

150. “They always want to ask about your mother. It’s OK. Say whatever you want. But make sure you start with ‘my mother’s very hot.’” -Lorelai Gilmore

Hope you loved these witty Gilmore Girls quotes! Stream this lovely series on Netflix!

Which one is your favorite? Comment down below!

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