There’s nothing worse than missing an episode of Bachelor in Paradise. May we all bow down to Hulu because I was able to catch up on Tuesday night’s episode this morning. Did I mention I got to experience the joy of paradise without commercials? It was delightful.
Here are 25 thoughts you probably had while watching the cast return to paradise on episode two:
1. I still can’t believe Carly and Evan are married. I can’t. I just can’t. Who would have thought!
2. Oh, she glows. He is so happy. She is so happy. Everyone is so happy. Why isn’t Jared and Ashley I. sitting next to each other?
3. Who is the hunky lad sitting next to Tanner and does he want to get married? I need to Instagram stalk. I will find him.
4. Just kidding, I can’t do that to Dean.
5. I wonder how many times Evan cried while watching The Notebook.
6. Where are they going on their honeymoon? Where’re Evan’s kids?
7. Yay, back to the paradise drama!!! Woohoo!!! I was scared there for a bit. Would have had to find something else to put all my emotions and energy in.
8. I’m digging this heart to heart.
9. They aren’t puppets. So much clarity.
10. Taylor hasn’t had one drink on The Bachelor or Bachelor in Paradise? How does she socialize with the opposite gender? Okay, super impressed.
11. Still impressed.
12. Raven would be fun to be friends with. People listen to her. She has a way with words. I bet she was the cool girl in kindergarten.
13. Diggy speaks the truth. I like you. I like your glasses. Where have you been? I want more of you.
14. Still a wee bit confused about this whole Dimario and Corinne situation.
15. I like how the cast stands up for each other. No matter what. Such a nice little family. Such a nice little pow wow. Chris is like their godfather.
16. I wonder if Chris has favorites?
17. I wonder how Chris remembers everyone’s name?
18. I wonder if Chris dreamed of being the host of The Bachelor when he was a little boy?
19. It brings me so much joy that Taylor and Derek are still a thing.
2o.Ahhhhhhh!! It is painful to watch Alex try to talk to Amanda.
21. Dean’s not good at communication? I’m not good at communication. We would be perfect together. We could just laugh instead of talk!
22. Very confused about what Dean and Kristina are talking about. Can they take a moment and turn to the camera to explain? In detail? Must know.
23. Wells needs more camera time.
24. He’s such a supportive friend/bartender.
25. The twins are coming to paradise? And who are those other random people? Why can’t they all just show up at the same time?
Only 4 more days until the next episode! We can do it!