The Office is an American mockumentary sitcom television series that portrays the daily work lives of office employees at the fictional Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
The employee's workday contains many hilarious confrontations, inappropriate conduct, and monotony, which is why The Office is considered one of the best TV shows of all time.
Here’s the scoop on the best quotes from The Office!
1. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” -Michael Scott
2. “I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.” -Dwight Schrute
3. “Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing.” -Dwight Schrute
4. “I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out…” -Kelly Kapoor
5. “I think that pretty much sums it up...I found it at Spencer Gifts.” -Michael Scott
6. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” -Michael Scott
7. “Studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work.” -Dwight Schrute
8. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” -Michael Scott
9. “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.” -Michael Scott
10. “I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.” -Kelly Kapoor
11. “If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.” -Stanley Hudson
12. “Everything I have I owe to this job… this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” -Jim Halpert
13. “I knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do.” -Michael Scott
14. “I am Beyonce always.” -Michael Scott
15. “Uh...nope. Nope. This isn't the surprise. It's surprising because you didn't expect it, but you will...you'll know it when you see it.” -Michael Scott
16. “They say if you’re nervous around someone, picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on. Or a funny coat.” -Pam Beesley
17. “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them.” -Andy Bernard
18. “Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?” -Oscar Martinez
19. “For my new year’s resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week.” -Meredith Palmer
20. “The worst thing about prison was the dementors.” -Michael Scott
21. “And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.” -Pam Beesley
22. “Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.” -Dwight Schrute
23. “Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.” -Andy Bernard
24. “No, no... 'cause then the ice melts and it's, like, ‘second drink’.” -Pam Beesley
25. “It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean.” -Michael Scott
26. “No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs … Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?” -Michael Scott
27. “I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.” -Angela Martin
28. “One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.” -Jim Halpert
29. “I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good.” -Michael Scott
30. “If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. And I’d forget, too.” -Ryan Howard
31. “If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.” -Angela Martin
32. “I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it…Nike.” -Michael Scott
33. “I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try.” -Jim Halpert
34. “You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.” -Pam Beesley
35. “I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for… that is the life.” -Stanley Hudson
36. “Today, smoking is going to save lives.” -Dwight Schrute
37. “The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. Because that’s what you’d have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.” -Oscar Martinez
38. “I understand nothing.” -Michael Scott
39. “Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.” -Michael Scott
40. “Boy have you done lost your mind, 'cause I'll help you find it!” -Stanley Hudson
41. “I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I've ever wanted.” -Kevin Malone
42. “In the Schrute family, the youngest child raises the others. I’ve been raising children since I was a baby.” -Dwight Schrute
43. “I’ll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring and never breaking off a handshake. I’m always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter… that makes stairs.” -Andy Bernard
44. “Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.” -Kevin Malone
45. “How is it possible that in five years, I’ve had two engagements and only one chair?” -Pam Beesley
46. “Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.” -Angela Martin
47. “I’m glad Michael’s getting help. He has a lot of issues, and he’s stupid.” -Phyllis Lapin-Vance
48. “Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.” -Andy Bernard
49. “Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?” -Kevin Malone
50. “I want you to rub butter on my foot… Pam, please? I have Country Crock.” -Michael Scott
51. “If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.” -Dwight Schrute
52. “It’s true. Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die.” -Stanley Hudson
53. “I am faster than 80 percent of all snakes.” -Dwight Schrute
54. “I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat.” -Pam Beesley
55. “I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.” -Michael Scott
56. “Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be my career. And, uh, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” -Jim Halpert
57. “Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.” -Michael Scott
58. “I mean, who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of game is that?” -Kelly Kapoor
59. “My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.” -Jim Halpert
60. “’R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk.’” -Dwight Schrute
61. “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” -Pam Beesley
62. “I wanna do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not enough to make a big deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. One stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.” -Creed Bratton
63. “I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.” -Pam Beesley
64. “I stopped caring a long time ago.” -Creed Bratton
65. “Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it… pretendinitis.” -Jim Halpert
66. “I’m such a perfectionist that I'd kinda rather not do it at all than do a crappy version.” -Ryan Howard
67. “Disposable cameras are fun although it does seem wasteful and you don’t ever get to see your pictures.” -Erin Hannon
68. “It’s like I used to tell my wife: I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong. And if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I’ll say it to my next one, too.” -Stanley Hudson
69. “Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s old job. Which means at my ten year high school reunion, it will not say “Ryan Howard is a temp”. It will say “Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm”… That’ll show ’em.” -Ryan Howard
70. “I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.” -Michael Scott
71. “A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and um, we all took it really hard.” -Ryan Howard
72. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl so I’m wise and I have worms.” -Michael Scott
73. “It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand.” -Michael Scott
74. “I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day.” -Stanley Hudson
75. “I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.” -Phyllis Lapin-Vance
76. “No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.” -Michael Scott
77. “Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.” -Jim Halpert
78. “You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once.” -Dwight Schrute
79. “I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.” -Creed Bratton
80. “Dwight, you ignorant slut!” -Michael Scott
81. “I declare bankruptcy!” -Michael Scott
82. “The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive like I did when I was a homeless man.” -Creed Bratton
83. “Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.” -Dwight Schrute
84. “There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.” -Dwight Schrute
85. “Dwight mercy-killed Angela’s cat.” -Pam Beesley
86. “I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry.” -Oscar Martinez
87. “I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete telephone number.” -Kevin Malone
88. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” -Stanley Hudson
89. “Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.” -Michael Scott
90. “That’s what she said.” -Michael Scott
91. “Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.” -Dwight Schrute
92. “Oh you’re paying way too much for worms. Who’s your worm guy?” -Creed Bratton
117. “So this is my life– until I win the lottery. Or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books.” -Jim Halpert
118. “I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo.” -Angela Martin
119. “I love my employees even though I hit one of you with my car.” -Michael Scott
120. “I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: ‘Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet.’ But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: ‘You’re ugly and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there.’” -Kelly Kapoor
121. “Who is justice beaver?” -Dwight Schrute
122. “Abraham Lincoln once said that ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North,’ and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.” -Michael Scott
123. “Planking is one of those things where, eh, you either get it or you don’t. And I don’t. But I am so excited to be a part of it.” -Erin Hannon
124. “I’m guessing Angela is the one in the neighborhood that gives the trick-or-treaters toothbrushes. Pennies. Walnuts.” -Pam Beesley
125. “Well, this is what happened. Uh, Ryan’s big project was the website, which wasn’t doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as offices and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard.” -Oscar Martinez
126. “Oh, I don’t think it’s blackmail. Angela just does what I ask her to do, so I won’t tell everyone that she’s cheating on Andy with Dwight. I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter.” -Phyllis Lapin-Vance
127. “If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What am I working toward?” -Creed Bratton
128. “You couldn't handle my undivided attention.” -Dwight Schrute
129. “I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV. Check it out. I actually hung this on the wall myself. I want to show you something: a lot of people in the room, you need more space, viola, right into the wall.” -Michael Scott
130. “We have a gym at home. It’s called the bedroom.” -Phyllis Lapin-Vance
131. “As it turns out, you can’t just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily. They have to hit rock bottom. So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. Um. I think I can do it.” -Michael Scott
132. “Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.” -Michael Scott
133. “I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket.” -Kevin Malone
134. “I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She’s hypoallergenic. She doesn’t struggle when you try to dress her. She’s a third-generation show cat. Her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.” -Angela Martin
135. “I mean, I’m not a slut, but who knows.” -Kelly Kapoor
136. “I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors.” -Dwight Schrute
137. “I have a warm blanket and several cozy pillows. I read a chapter of a book and then it's lights out by 8:30.That's how I sleep at night.” -Angela Martin
138. “Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.” -Michael Scott
139. “I used to be obese. Once you’ve conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion. I’m not saying I’m Superman, but let me just put it this way. If I were shot in the head, I’m pretty sure everything would be fine. I’d almost welcome it.” -Deangelo Vickers
140. “I just wanted you to know that you can’t just say the word ‘bankruptcy’ and expect anything to happen.” -Oscar Martinez
141. “Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.” -Creed Bratton
93. “They just don’t get a lot of work done when I’m not here. That’s not true. I know how to delegate. And they do more work when I’m not here. The same amount of work is done whether I am here or not.” -Michael Scott
94. “An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… an office is a place where dreams come true.” -Michael Scott
95. “I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to.” -Ryan Howard
96. “I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It's every parent's dream.” -Michael Scott
97. “Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.” -Kelly Kapoor
98. “I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.” -Michael Scott
99. “Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one– how dare you?” -Kelly Kapoor
100. “I am not great with kids. But I want to get better because I’m getting married. So, I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids would come talk to me… like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.” -Pam Beesley
101. “I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’s station.” -Creed Bratton
102. “You guys I’m, like, really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me, 'Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?' And I’d be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer.” -Kelly Kapoor
103. “Come on guys. Early worm gets the worm.” -Michael Scott
104. “I think you’re under-thinking it.” -Jim Halpert
105. “I wish I could menstruate... I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.” -Dwight Schrute
106. “Joke’s on you Goldenface, that man was a wanted animal rapist.” -Michael Scarn
107. “Having a baby is exhausting. Having two babies? Now that’s just mean.” -Jim Halpert
108. “Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press and launch that lighthouse into space.” -Stanley Hudson
109. “The man is wearing sandals. I don’t need to see Oscar’s toes at work. Gross! I mean, he looks like he just got off the boat.” -Angela Martin
110. “When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” -Pam Beesley
111. “St. Patrick's Day is the closest thing the Irish have to Christmas.” -Michael Scott
112. “Man, Angela really had a hold on him.” -Pam Beesley
113. “I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther.” -Dwight Schrute
114. “Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy.” -Dwight Schrute
115. “I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman’s gotta take off his cape.” -Kevin Malone
116. “I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.” -Michael Scott
142. “Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what! From now on you guys are no longer losers! So give yourselves a round of applause.” -Kelly Kapoor
143. “Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.” -Phyllis Lapin-Vance
144. “Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it.” -Dwight Schrute
145. “Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them...or he quits because they are unfair.” -Andy Bernard
146. “Break me off a piece of that… fancy feast.” -Andy Bernard
147. “I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke.” -Michael Scott
148. “I am so sick of February. It’s the shortest month but it sure doesn’t feel that way.” -Toby Flenderson
149. “I say dance, they say ‘How high?’” -Michael Scott
150. “It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I’d like her parents to be psyched about.” -Jim Halpert
151. “The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and crush it.” -Kevin Malone
152. “Tell ya one thing, I’m not gonna be a good mom tonight.” -Meredith Palmer
153. “I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle.” -Dwight Schrute
154. “My philosophy is basically this, and this is something I live by, and always have, and always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you're with or...or where you are going, or where you have been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.” -Michael Scott
155. “That is sort of an oaky afterbirth.” -Michael Scott
156. “From time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future.” -Jim Halpert
157. “So, the guy shows me the deck he’s built. And I’m like, ‘I’ll call this a deck if it’ll make you happy… but this is just a porch without a roof.'” -Darryl Philbin
158. “How is it possible that in five years, I’ve had two engagements and only one chair?” -Pam Beesley
159. “When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.” -Dwight Schrute
160. “As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it just feels good to be represented on one.” -Phyllis Lapin-Vance
161. “Every so often, Jim dies of boredom.” -Pam Beesley
162. “I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.” -Andy Bernard
163. “Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs and get a distress call from the Commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.” -Dwight Schrute
164. “I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he’s clean, but I’m glad I did it.” -Angela Martin
165. “Oh so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.” -Jim Halpert
166. “The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout ‘shotgun’ when you’re within sight of the car gets the front seat. That’s how the game’s played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.” -Michael Scott
167. “Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It’s so powerful, even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes.” -Andy Bernard
168. “Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.” -Oscar Martinez
169. “I stole. ... And I robbed. And I kidnapped... the... president's son. And held him for ransom.” -Michael Scott
170. “Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did…” -Michael Scott
171. “I think it’s great that the company’s making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or…and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.” -Jim Halpert
172. “I am a black belt in gift wrapping.” -Jim Halpert
173. “There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.” -Robert California
174. “In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all. It’s fear. Merry Christmas.” -Dwight Schrute
175. “I’m not saying I had a meteoric rise, but I did.” -Ryan Howard
176. “The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-baters.” -Kevin Malone
177. “Do I look like someone who would waste my own time?” -Robert California
178. “Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I’ve read some of it. Even for the Internet, it’s… pretty shocking.” -Ryan Howard
179. “You are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real.” -Michael Scott
180. “News flash: You are not special.” -Stanley Hudson
181. “I am so tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It's rock n roll for people who don't like rock n roll. It's rap for people who don't like rap. It's pop for people who don't like pop.” -Robert California
182. “You know, I thought this was an office, not the thunderdome.” -Clark Greene
183. “They always say that it’s a mistake to hire your friends. And they are right. So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get!?” -Michael Scott
184. “I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.” -Angela Martin
185. “You can't have a favorite Iron Chef. It depends entirely on the secret ingredient.” -Robert California
186. “In high school, I organized a walkout over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a twelve twenty. Always regretted it… I feel lachrymose.” -Andy Bernard
187. “The eyes are the groin of the face.” -Dwight Schrute
188. “Jim told me you could buy gaydar online.” -Dwight Schrute
189. “I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.” -Andy Bernard
190. “My last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full Taco Bell and, I don’t know, I couldn’t keep up.” -Erin Hannon
191. “Did I stutter?” -Stanley Hudson
192. “I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I’m constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don’t get sore too? Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?” -Stanley Hudson
193. “You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. Every compliment has to be backhanded. 'Oh I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.'” -Andy Bernard
194. “Most people don’t even know that a candy cane represents a shepherd’s crook. Which I assure you does not taste like peppermint. It tastes like sheep feces.” -Dwight Schrute
195. “You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.” -Michael Scott
196. “Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.” -Michael Scott
197. “Put your heart out there like that, it's liable to just turn into this blackened carbon brick where it has barbecue sauce of shame and rage and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that!” -Andy Bernard
198. “I have one simple philosophy in business: if the seat is open, the job is open. It’s how I came to briefly race a Formula One car. The three slowest laps ever recorded.” -Nellie Bertram
199. “Hey Goldenface! Go puck yourself!” -Michael Scarn
200. “Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn’t seem to realize that it wasn’t his hot coffee. So, the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won’t notice?” -Jim Halpert
201. “Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.” -Kelly Kapoor
202. “I have decided that I'm going to be more honest. I'm gonna start telling people what I want, directly. So, look out world, 'cuz 'ol Pammy is gettin' what she wants. And, don't call me Pammy.” -Pam Beesley
203. “I work hard all day. I like knowing that there’s going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.” -Kevin Malone
204. “I kinda know what it’s like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.” -Kevin Malone
205. “I want to be wine and dined and sixty-nined.” -Kevin Malone
206. “You need to access your uncrazy side, otherwise maybe this thing has run its course.” -Darryl Philbin
207. “Whether you’re scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don’t be. It’s going to be OK.” -Michael Scott
208. “It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me Plop for so long, he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.” -Pete Miller
209. “I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A, baby. And as backup, I have a Swiss passport.” -Creed Bratton
210. “Everyone I know who skis is dead.” -Deangelo Vickers
211. “Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And, Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now, this baby will be related to Michael through… Delusion” -Jim Halpert
212. “In the wild, there is no healthcare. In the wild healthcare is, ‘Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me, and I’m dead.’ Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. You’re dead.” -Dwight Schrute
213. “Your body is a temple. You have to respect it. You can’t just whore it out.” -Angela Martin
214. “Talk to me that way again and I'll cut your face.” -Erin Hannon
215. “Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, which was just to wait. For a really long time that’s all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that I was waiting for my wife.” -Jim Halpert
216. “This is a dream that I’ve had…since lunch…and I’m not giving it up now.” -Michael Scott
217. “I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.” -Michael Scott
218. “You don't want to get on my bad side, I have seen some horrible things, I own over 200 horror movies.” -Gabe Lewis
219. “I fell in love with these kids. And I didn’t want to see them fall victim to the system. So I made ’em a promise. I told them if they graduated from high school, I would pay for their college education. I have made some empty promises in my life but, hands down that was the most generous.” -Michael Scott
220. “Michael is leaving. And apparently, they’ve already hired a new manager. And we’re meeting him today. It’s a lot to process. Paperwork-wise.” -Oscar Martinez
221. “Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable.” -Michael Scott
222. “He answers to Michael. Michael G. Scott. Michael J. Fox. Mr. Fox. The Incredible Mr. Fox.” -Holly Fax
223. “Oh my God it’s happening! Everybody stay calm. Stay calm!” -Michael Scott
224. “I’ve got a golden-ticket idea. Why don’t you skip on up to the roof and jump off?” -Stanley Hudson
225. “There are always a million reasons not to do something.” -Jan Levinson
226. “My psychiatrist thinks that I have some self-destructive tendencies, and that for once, I should indulge them.” -Jan Levinson
227. “Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your hoe rips out your heart for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your hoe, and you told her that she was the only hoe for you, and that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then, suddenly, she’s not your hoe no mo.” -Michael Scott
228. “You are the silent killer. Go back to the annex.” -Michael Scott
229. “You are going to be sleeping by yourself for the rest of your life, so you should just get used to it.” -Michael Scott
230. “I’m a breast cancer survivor, close, personal friends with Nancy Pelosi, and Truman Capote and I slept with three of the same guys.” -Jo Bennet
231. “People underestimate the power of nostalgia. Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses, second only to the neck.” -Dwight Schrute
232. “You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?” -Michael Scott
233. “Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it… not that way. I hate… so much about the things that you choose to be.” -Michael Scott
234. “Hazing is a fun way to show a new employee that she is not welcome or liked.” -Toby Flenderson
235. “Meredith, you lit your hair on fire today. What about tomorrow? What is going to happen when you come into work and you’re dead?” -Michael Scott
236. “Who’s the one who didn’t bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah I BMed in the shredder on New Years. But I didn’t bring the lice in. That was all Pam.” -Meredith Palmer
237. “You’re the people’s princess! Diana was nothing!” -Meredith Palmer
238. “Alright. Truth is, I got a couple love bumps on my ding dong, so I was like oh, game over.” -Todd Packer
239. “Nobody should have to go to work thinking, ‘Oh this is the place that I might die today.’ That’s what a hospital is for.” -Michael Scott
240. “Hey everybody, he’s not in the men’s room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him.” -Meredith Palmer
241. “My heart belongs to music. But my ass, belongs to these people.” -Andy Bernard
242. “Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Scheider.” -Creed Bratton
243. “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” -Michael Scott
244. “Let’s put a smile on that face.” -Creed Bratton
245. “Last, and possibly least, you didn’t think we’d forget, ‘That’s what she said!’” -Michael Scott
246. “When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only one to go.” -Creed Bratton
247. “You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.” -Creed Bratton
248. “So you’ve come to the master for guidance? Is this what you’re saying, grasshopper?” -Michael Scott
249. “Get out. No, this is not a joke. It was offensive and lame, so double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here.” -Michael Scott
250. “Rit-dit-dit-do-doo!” Andy Bernard
There is no doubt that The Office is one of the best drama sitcoms that you could ever watch, so if you’re interested in watching a show that will make you laugh watch The Office, streaming now on Peacock!
Which quote from The Office is your favorite? Comment below!
For more amazing quotes, check out these articles!
- 250 Best Self Love Quotes for Instagram Captions [2022]
- 50 Best Quotes from All of Us Are Dead
- 100 Best Tangled Movie Quotes
Leave a Reply