42 Best Quotes from "Cheaper by the Dozen"

This funny remake of Cheaper by the Dozen offers a new perspective of the Baker family learning to balance a business and family. Starring Zach Braff and Gabrielle Union, you’re in for quite the family adventure! This Disney film not only explores the dynamics of the family but as well as dreams.

With an introduction to all the Baker family members, it’s no surprise that the characters bring different levels of humor to the heart-warming film. Almost every character from Cheaper by the Dozen has memorable quotes.

Here’s the scoop on Cheaper by the Dozen quotes that have stuck with us!

1. “A Japanese toilet that washes your butt.” -Paul

2. “You told my son to be a Satanist.” -Dominic

3. “It smells like sadness and mouse poop.” -Paul

zoey baker and zach braff cheaper by the dozen — Gabrielle Union as Zoey Baker and Zach Braff as Paul Baker in 20th Century Studios’ CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN, exclusively on Disney+. Photo by Merrick Morton. © 2022 20th Century Studios. All Rights Reserved.

4. “Touch me, you lose a finger.” -Harley

5. “This whole situation is wack!” -Deja

6. “Who invited the Jackson 9?” -Man

7. “A four-year old’s morning breath is like a fire breathing dragon.” -Paul

8. “Out with the old, in with the bling!” -Zoey

9. “This is guy’s stuff mom.” -DJ

the baker family — Journee Brown as Deja, Kylie Rogers as Ella, Aryan Simhadri as Haresh, Gabrielle Union as Zoey Baker, Sebastian Cote as Bronx, Christian Cote as Bailey, Mykal-Michelle Harris as Luna, Leo Abelo Perry as Luca on the set of 20th Century Studios’ CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN. Photo courtesy of 20th Century Studios. © 2022 20th Century Studios. All Rights Reserved.

10. “Have you tried monster spray?” -Seth

11. “You have another therapist?” -Paul

12. “Sticky finger Seth?” -Harley

13. “It’s wine-o-clock.” -Zoey

14. “That’s what you get for looking at butts.” -Paul

15. “Your dream… I’m dreamless.” -Zoey

Bronx, Bailey, Zoey Baker — Christian Cote as Bailey, Gabrielle Union as Zoey Baker, and Sebastian Cote as Bronx in 20th Century Studios’ CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN. Photo by Merrick Morton. © 2022 20th Century Studios. All Rights Reserved.

16. “I got carried away with those barbies.” -Paul

17. “What I’m hearing is you want a walk-in closet.” -Zoey

18. “How does both of your tummies hurt?” -Paul

19. “I’ll teach you how to defend yourself.” -Seth

20. “Where’s the rest of your skirt?” -Paul

pool scene cheaper by the dozen — Journee Brown as Deja, Leo Abelo Perry as Luca, Kylie Rogers as Ella, Gabrielle Union as Zoey Baker, Zach Braff as Paul Baker, Sebastian Cote as Bronx, Andre Robinson as DJ, Aryan Simhadri as Haresh, and Mykal-Michelle Harris as Luna in 20th Century Studios’ CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN. Photo by Merrick Morton. © 2022 20th Century Studios. All Rights Reserved.

21. “Fix your face.” -Zoey

22. “You suck at basketball.” -Deja

23. “He likes to dress up and do the cosplay.” -Zoey

24. “You’re like the Willy Wonka of sauces.” -Zoey

cheaper by the dozen baker family — Sebastian Cote as Bronx, Andre Robinson as DJ, Luke Prael as Seth, Aryan Simhadri as Haresh, Gabrielle Union as Zoey Baker, Zach Braff as Paul Baker, Journee Brown as Deja, Kylie Rogers as Ella, Caylee Blosenski as Harley, Mykal-Michelle Harris as Luna, and Christian Cote as Bailey in 20th Century Studios’ CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN, exclusively on Disney+. Photo by Merrick Morton. © 2022 20th Century Studios. All Rights Reserved.

25. “Ever heard of TikTok? It’s so funny.” -Kate

26. “I was born with tiny toes.” -Paul

27. “Even our wedding cake was made out of waffles.” -Paul

28. “Dad leaves, they lose their minds.” -Zoey

29. “Sleep lightly, bro.” -Harley

the baker family in one bed — Zach Braff as Paul Baker, Gabrielle Union as Zoey Baker, Sebastian Cote as Bronx, Leo Abelo Perry as Luca, Mykal-Michelle Harris as Luna, Christian Cote as Bailey, Andre Robinson as DJ, Aryan Simhadri as Haresh, and Caylee Blosenski as Harley in 20th Century Studios’ CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN, exclusively on Disney+. Photo by Merrick Morton. © 2022 20th Century Studios. All Rights Reserved.

30. “Come back for a goody bag?” -Paul

31. “See if he’s bleeding.” -Paul

32. “That’s my daughter!” -Dominic

33. “Watch out world, here we come.” -Paul

the baker family selfie cheaper by the dozen — Kylie Rogers as Ella, Luke Prael as Seth, Caylee Blosenski as Harley, Sebastian Cote as Bronx, Gabrielle Union as Zoey Baker, Mykal-Michelle Harris as Luna, Christian Cote as Bailey, Aryan Simhadri as Haresh, Andre Robinson as DJ, Journee Brown as Deja, Leo Abelo Perry as Luca, and Zach Braff as Paul Baker on the set of 20th Century Studios’ CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN, exclusively on Disney+. Photo courtesy of 20th Century Studios. © 2022 20th Century Studios. All Rights Reserved.

35. “It was a bake sale.” -Zoey

36. “I didn’t recognize some of them.” -Paul

37. “Luca and Luna are living their best life.” -Paul

38. “Us behind? That’s crazy.” -Paul

39. “I can’t move.” -Paul

40. “Ah, I feel tricked.” -Paul

41. “Well, that’s my favorite subject.” -Paul

42. “That’s sexist.” -Luna

cheaper by the dozen movie poster — Cheaper by the Dozen. Disney. All Rights Reserved.

Cheaper by the Dozen is the perfect family movie that tackles many different aspects of an American family. Hope you found these quotes from Cheaper by the Dozen funny and relatable!

Watch the Baker family exclusively on Disney+ March 18th!

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