I didn’t expect to love A Wrinkle in Time as much as I did. I also didn’t expect to walk out of the theater with tear-stained cheeks and a sense of calm and clarity about my life when I needed it most.
Quotes from the movie aka mild spoilers ahead…
Let me start by saying I cried off and on throughout that movie. Not just a stray tear level of cry, I’m talking almost sobs. A Wrinkle in Time held up a mirror and told me to really look at myself. It made me understand that my faults can be helpful traits in times of trouble. It made me want to do better, create and explore, and spread light as a warrior. What’s more, it made me realize that I have so much more potential than I’ve given myself credit for.
“You can do it. You’re choosing not to.”
The Happy Medium said this to Meg and managed to call me out in the process. There are many things that I haven’t done because I thought I couldn’t. In hindsight, those things would have required lots of work and some struggle, but they weren’t impossible. I didn’t do those things because it was ultimately my choice not to do them. It seems obvious now, and I’m sure I’ve said the same to others before, but hearing this in the movie rocked my world. Some things I can’t choose. However, I can choose how I react, how I move forward, how I adapt, and whether or not I even try.
I didn’t realize how desperately I needed that reminder going forward. I’m reaching the end of my graduate studies and I’m stuck. I’m trying to make decisions regarding further education, potential schools, and pursuing passions while considering my chronic illnesses, finances, and other realities. Everything feels like one giant cloud of uncertainty. Luckily for me, The Happy Medium also told Meg that ‘it’s okay to fear the answers’.
I immediately started crying because he’s right. I didn’t realize it until that moment but, like Meg, I’m afraid of the answers. It’s okay to be afraid. I just have to keep going and I have to try. I don’t know the answer, but I should at least do what it takes to find out. Choosing not to is easy. Reaching for my goals despite the fear is worth the struggle in the end.
Mrs. Which pulled Meg aside and said one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard this year. It was something along the lines of “Do you have any idea how many choices from the birth of the universe to now lead to the creation of you as you are in this moment?”
I need to write down the full quote because it deeply resonated with me. Many times, I’ve been like Meg and wanted to be someone else. I had so much self-hatred and self-doubt and disliked the idea of me as I am. If only I could be someone else. Am I even who I’m supposed to be? Am I doing what I’m meant to do? Why can’t I be like them? Mrs. Which reminded me to love myself as I am and that I am who I’m supposed to be at this moment in time.
I left A Wrinkle in Time with clarity. I felt calm and this weird mixture of confidence, positivity, and creativity that I can’t quite name. The universe is open for me to do anything and I can do it. Whatever I do, whatever choice I make, I have the power to bring hope and light to this world just by creating something new or being there for someone. In loving myself, choosing to try, and facing uncertain answers, I really can do anything. I can be a warrior. Actually, I am a warrior.