Astrological Signs as Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office

The Office has provided audiences with so many quirky, well-developed characters. I have to admit: Kelly Kapoor is easily one of my favorite characters on The Office. She possesses the confidence that all of us should have. I love that she holds celebrity gossip so near and dear to her heart and that no one is spared from all her talking points. Her pot-stirring keeps the office drama alive, and I love her for that.

I find that everyone always wants to compare themselves to all of the characters. But my issue is that everyone always aligns themselves with Pam, Jim, or Darryl. They never want to be risky and admit that they are truly a Michael Scott at heart.

So, I decided that we should all align ourselves with the pop-culture queen, Kelly Kapoor. And the only proper way to do that would be matching her famous quotes with astrological signs. Don’t worry, I’m Costar certified in astrology. Without further ado, here are astrological signs as Kelly Kapoor quotes!


Quote: Gabe Lewis: “What are your weaknesses? Kelly Kapoor: “I don’t have any, a*shole!”

Aries are known for being “firey” and for thinking things through after they take the initial jump. They can also have a bit of a temper and sometimes lose their patience. As a fellow Aries: sorry about that! But they are also very passionate and will stand up for themselves and friends!


Quote: “I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?”

The Office character Kelly Kapoor as a Taurus

A Taurus loves reliability and may take a bit to catch feelings, but once they do, they’re in it! They are also quite stubborn. Cue: Kelly not being able to give up Ryan. My favorite toxic relationship.


Quote: “I can’t control what I say to people. I spend the whole day talking.”

Geminis have a reputation for being “two-faced” but they are really just social butterflies who love to talk! That is largely because they are very external about their emotions.


Quote: “No, no, no, no, no, no. She’s hot, OK? Because if you are saying that Hillary Swank isn’t hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I’m not as hot as Hillary Swank!”

Cancers are great at code-switching but can also take things a bit personally. Kelly considering the office’s decision that Hilary Swank is not hot as an insult is very on the nose for a Cancer. For the record: I’m on the “hot” side.


Quote: “Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage.”

Leos have Personality! And yes, that capital ‘p’ was for emphasis! They are theatrical, often outgoing, and view themselves on a celebrity level.


Quote: “You guys I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me, ‘Kelly what’s the biggest company in the world?’ And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer”

Virgos love practicality and planning. They keep our world spinning round! However, sometimes all the learning they do isn’t always productive.


Quote: “Whatever we deny or embrace. For worse or for better. We belong, we belong, we belong together…Ryan”

Libras and partnerships go hand-and-hand! Who better to demonstrate the partner needing behavior other than The Office’s Kelly Kapoor?


Quote: “I mean, who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of game is that?”

Scorpios are passionate and look at relationships like a game of poker: never show your cards!


Quote: “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out”

Outgoing and charming, Sagittarians love to tell stories. I think we’ve seen Kelly’s storytelling techniques play out once or twice on The Office.


Quote: “I’m Kelly Kapoor. The business bitch.”

Capricorns take initiative like no other and can be great leaders. They sometimes come across as cold because of this, but they get the work done!


Quote: “I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister’s.”

Aquarians love to help others but safeguard their emotions like they are hoarding FBI secrets. Sometimes, when they do open up it really makes you say “Oh. Okay, that was interesting”.

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