120+ Funny Quotes About Spring and Summer Allergies

As spring and summer approach there's an undeniable sense of renewal in the air. Here's the scoop on funny quotes about allergies!

But for those of us plagued by the infamous duo of spring and summer allergies, this seasonal transformation brings with it a different kind of awakening.

One characterized by sneezes, sniffles, and the eternal struggle against pollen's relentless assault.

Where every sniffle becomes a punchline and every sneeze is an opportunity for comedic relief. 

From witty one-liners to tongue-in-cheek observations, these quotes offer a lighthearted perspective on the trials and tribulations of navigating the allergy season rollercoaster.

So, whether you're armed with a trusty tissue box or have mastered the art of the allergy shuffle, join us as we embrace the humor in our seasonal sniffles and celebrate the absurdity of it all.

After all, laughter may not cure allergies, but it's certainly the best medicine for surviving them with a smile.

Allergy Season Shenanigans

1. Allergy season is like a surprise party where pollen is the uninvited guest.
2. Allergy season: the time of year when Mother Nature decides to play a prank on us all.
3. "Seasonal allergies: the only thing blooming faster than the flowers is my collection of used tissues."
4. "Allergy season: the only thing spreading faster than pollen is my collection of sarcastic remarks."
5. "Hay fever: when your body decides to have an existential crisis in response to harmless grass."
6. "Surviving allergy season is like playing Russian roulette with tissues instead of bullets."
7. “I can count sneezes as crunches, right?” 
8. “Sorry, your seasonal allergies require more drugs than the entire lineup of Fleetwood Mac in the 1970s.”
9. “My seasonal allergies just got picked up for another season!” 
10. Spring allergies: Mother Nature's way of telling us not to take life too seriously, even when our noses are running faster than our jokes.
11. "Where difficulty breathing becomes an Olympic sport, and I'm the reigning champion of the wheeze."
12. "My immune system during allergy season: the ultimate drama queen, overreacting to pollen like it's auditioning for an allergy-themed soap opera."
13. "Buy one tissue box, get a volume discount on antihistamines. Because when it comes to allergies, bulk buying is the only way to go."
14. "Where 'bless you' is the most commonly heard phrase, closely followed by 'sorry, can't shake hands, allergies.'"
15. "My red, itchy eyes are the epitome of intellectual property—no copyright infringement here, just a unique brand of allergy-induced misery."
16. Allergy season survival tip: when life gives you pollen, steep yourself in more green tea. It's nature's way of saying 'take that, allergies!'"
17. "My patience during allergy season: available at the lowest price—free. Just like the pollen count in winter."
18. "Allergy season ad results: tissues flying off the shelves, antihistamines getting their moment in the spotlight, and pollen scoring an unexpected cameo in the leading role."
19. Where even my user data knows I'm allergic to everything but common sense.
20. "The only time of year when I'm grateful to be allergic to least people instead of most allergens."
21. "During allergy season, my views of Etsy go from 'let's buy handmade crafts' to 'let's buy every tissue box available' in record time."
22. Being a food allergy mom is like being a detective, except instead of solving crimes, I'm deciphering ingredient lists and dodging sneeze attacks.
23. "Allergy season hits me in a special way—specifically, the way my nose transforms into a faucet and my eyes into leaky faucets."
24. Allergy season inspires the most beautiful poems: roses are red, violets are blue, my nose is runny, and pollen, I blame you.
25. My allergy season survival kit comes with a selection of four-star tissues—good enough to get the job done, but not quite luxurious enough for a royal sneeze.
26. "During allergy season, my printable coloring bookmarks serve a dual purpose: holding my place in a book and catching the tears of pollen-induced misery."
27. "Allergy season: the universe's way of reminding me that even Mother Nature has a sense of humor, albeit a sneezy one."
28. "Allergy season: when even my advertising partners know I'm in desperate need of tissues and antihistamines. Thanks for the reminder, sponsored content."
29. "Allergies: where even Wendi McLendon-Covey couldn't improvise her way out of a pollen-induced sneeze attack."
30. "Allergy season: where the only 'shocking' thing about allergies is how quickly I go from 'ah-choo' to 'ahh, not again!' in anaphylactic shock."
31. "My terrible chemical allergies turn everyday cleaning into a hazardous mission. Sorry, can't mop the floor—my mop triggers an allergic reaction."
32. "Spring allergies: when my body decides to throw a rave, but forgets to invite anyone except the pollen. Talk about allergic reactions!"
33. Allergy medicines: the only time of year I play Russian roulette with pills instead of bullets, hoping one will finally stop the sneeze symphony. Because sometimes, even allergy medicines need a little comedic relief."
34. "Is it spring yet? I can't tell because my eyes are glued shut."
35. "Dear pollen, could you please find another hobby? Sincerely, Everyone with Allergies"

Quirky Reactions and Remedies

1. "My allergic reaction to spring? Looking like I've been crying for days when it's just my eyes battling pollen."
2. "When your body decides to have an allergic reaction to grass, it's like nature's way of saying, 'Surprise!'"
3. "The only thing standing between me and a full-blown meltdown during peak pollen season."
4. “My favorite springtime fashion accessories are antihistamines.”
5. “I can't wait for my allergy medicine to stop my sneezing by making me fall asleep at my desk.” 
6. “I'm looking for a wine that pairs well with allergy medication.” 
7. The unsung heroes of spring and summer, armed with tissues and antihistamines, fighting the good fight against pollen's tyranny.
8. "The spending habits of customers during allergy season: tissues, antihistamines, and nasal sprays fly off the shelves faster than pollen in a gust of wind."
9. "Etsy's advertising platform: where you can find handmade remedies for allergy season, guaranteed to make your sniffles stylish."
10. "Taking an allergy pill is like sending a tiny superhero into battle against the pollen army—here's hoping it's more Avengers, less Ant-Man."
11. The one time of year when interest-based ads think I'm suddenly interested in tissues, antihistamines, and nasal sprays. Thanks, but I've got it covered."
12. "Forget hammers and screwdrivers—during allergy season, tissues and antihistamines become my most powerful tools for survival."
13. Nasal spray: the superhero cape of allergy season, swooping in to save the day when pollen threatens to turn me into a human water fountain.
14. "My medicine cabinet during allergy season: a treasure trove of numerous allergy medications, each promising relief but delivering nothing but a bitter aftertaste."
15. "My medicine cupboard during allergy season: a chaotic mix of antihistamines, nasal sprays, and expired remedies that are about as effective as wishing on a dandelion."
16. "During allergy season, my lungs undergo more scans than a sci-fi spaceship navigating an asteroid field. Beam me up, pollen!"
17. "Allergy season: where my privacy preferences go out the window faster than my tissues during a sneeze attack. Sorry, allergies don't respect boundaries."
18. Living with allergies is like playing a never-ending game of 'guess that trigger.' Spoiler alert: pollen always wins. Ah, the joys of funny allergy quotes!"
19. "I used to think I was indecisive, but now I realize I'm just allergic to everything."

The Allergy Chronicles

1. "Having food allergies in the summertime is like trying to dodge a buffet of sneezes and sniffles."
2. "Because nothing says 'fun in the sun' like a side of hives with your picnic."
3. "My runny nose is like a faucet that's stuck in the 'on' position during allergy season."
4. "Having a runny nose in the summer is like carrying around a built-in water feature, minus the serenity."
5. “You just don't appreciate breathing out of both nostrils until one suddenly is taken away from you.” 
6. “My condolences to anyone who sits near me at work this allergy season.”
7. “Please manifest my allergies into human form so i can punch them in the face.”
8. "The only subscription service you can't cancel, no matter how hard you try. Where's the unsubscribe link for pollen, anyway?"
9. A partnership as inseparable as Spreadshirt's partner shops and my online cart full of tissues.
10. Skin allergies in the summer: because nothing says 'beach body ready' like a rash that matches my swimsuit."
11. Pollen count: the only number that manages to be both high and low at the same time. Just like my tolerance for it."
12. My potentially fatal peanut allergy turns every picnic into a game of 'spot the hidden ingredient'—spoiler alert: it's always peanuts.
13. "Having a built-in allergy to dust mites is nature's way of ensuring I never forget to vacuum—thanks, Mother Nature, for the reminder."
14. "Dust mites: the tiny ninjas of allergy season, sneaking into every nook and cranny to wreak havoc on my sinuses."
15. "Signed up for the customer newsletter? Congrats! Now you'll receive regular updates on our latest allergy-induced antics and the best deals on tissues.
16. "The value of each submitted email address? Let's just say it's directly proportional to the number of allergy-related puns you'll receive in our newsletters."
17. "Where the pollen count is high and the relevance of pornography is irrelevant."
18. "Funny thing about allergy season: the only thing blossoming faster than flowers is my collection of used tissues."
19. Allergy season brings out a surprising amount of sellers peddling 'miracle cures'—because apparently, essential oils can cure everything from hay fever to world hunger.
20. "During allergy season, I'm surrounded by numerous people—each with their own horror stories of sneezes and sniffles, making me feel less alone in my misery."
21. “Consistently earning a five-star average rating from my sinuses. Apparently, they're quite the overachievers."
22. “The time of year when cases of asthma are as common as dandelions in a field—both equally capable of taking your breath away."
23. Food allergy awareness: because nothing says 'I'm allergic to fun' quite like scrutinizing ingredient labels at every barbecue.
24. "Allergy season motto: gotta use Visine to see through the haze of pollen and find the silver lining in every sneeze."
25. Allergy season: where the only known side effect of the exposure is an uncontrollable urge to curse at every blooming flower in sight.
26. "Allergy season unites the American public in solidarity against a common enemy: pollen—the true villain of summer blockbusters."
27. "Even Edward R. Murrow couldn't narrate the drama of allergy season without breaking into a sneeze or two."
28. "Spring and summer allergies: the leading cause of food allergy avoidance tactics at picnics. Sorry, can't have that potato salad—it might have pollen."
29. "Allergies: proof that even in the twentieth century, Mother Nature still has a few sneezes up her sleeve from the twentieth."
30. Forget invisibility or super strength—my superhero power is surviving allergy season without completely losing my mind."
31. "Even the Etsy app knows I'm allergic to handmade crafts—every time I open it, it recommends tissues and nasal sprays instead of cute knick-knacks."
32. Living with a dairy allergy in the summer is like trying to avoid ice cream trucks in a heatwave—temptation at every corner, but one wrong move and it's a sneeze city.
33. Allergy season memes: the true MVPs of surviving spring and summer, because sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from sneezing. Funny memes: nature's way of providing a virtual tissue for our pollen-induced tears.
34. "Love is in the air... and so is pollen. Great."
35. "Spring is nature's way of reminding you that you're allergic to everything." - W.C. Fields

Laughing Through the Sniffles

1. "Ah, seasonal allergies—the annual reminder that Mother Nature has a sense of humor, albeit a sneezy one."
2. My allergy symptoms have a strict privacy policy: they'll make themselves known to everyone within a five-mile radius.
3. “Spring is my favorite time of year to stop and smell the roses and then sneeze for 20 minutes.” 
4. “May your devastating winter blues finally give way to your debilitating spring allergies.” 
5. “My nose has done more running this spring than I have.”  
6. "My allergy season survival strategy? Stockpiling fat surpluses to keep me warm during those post-sneeze chills.
7. "Breaking news: Mass media reports a surge in pollen counts. In other news, allergy sufferers brace themselves for a season of sneezing."
8. Allergies and dairy products: a match made in lactose-intolerant heaven, where even the ice cream melts in sympathy for our sniffles.
9. "Expectation: springtime bliss. Reality: me sneezing so hard, I end up painting a totally different picture on my friend's wall with my nasal spray.
10. Where sneezing at the little things becomes a big part of your daily routine.
11. "Pollen allergies: turning nature's confetti into my personal kryptonite forever."
12. My allergy symptoms are getting rave reviews this season—five stars for the spectacular sneeze performance and extra points for the dramatic eye-watering finale.
13. Allergy season in the United States: where even the bald eagle sheds a tear for my pollen-induced misery.
14. “Where my handmade pieces of art include tissue origami and allergy medicine sculptures.
15. “The global marketplace of misery, where pollen is the currency and tissues are the only commodity worth trading."
16. "My renewable electricity commitment during allergy season? Powering through sneeze after sneeze like it's my civic duty."
17. “Buy one sneeze, get an additional discount on red, puffy eyes. Limited time offer, while supplies last."
18. “Where my body becomes a made-to-order item for pollen, complete with custom sneezes and personalized sniffles.
19. "Wearing my food allergy t shirt is like wearing a billboard that says, 'Handle with care: contents may cause spontaneous sneezing.'"
20. Allergy season: where I find unique ways to incorporate sneezing into my daily routine. Who knew it could be such a versatile activity?"
21. Etsy offer of the day: handmade tissue box covers, because even my allergies deserve a touch of artisanal flair.
22. "Allergy season memes: the only thing spreading faster than pollen on the internet. Because sometimes, you just have to laugh to keep from sneezing."
23. My allergies are like the annoying little brother I never asked for—always sneaking up on me when I least expect it and stealing my tissues.
24. "Sinus infections during allergy season: the ultimate plot twist in the saga of my runny nose and watery eyes."
25. "Funny people make jokes about allergies. Allergy sufferers make sneezes about jokes. It's a vicious cycle of pollen-induced humor."
26. "Living with allergies gives me a 'free life'—free from breathing through both nostrils, that is."
27. "Stuffy noses: the ultimate fashion statement of allergy season. Forget scarves—this year, it's all about the nasal congestion chic."
28. "My sort of allergy: the kind that turns me into a sneezing superhero, fighting crime with my mighty tissue cape."
29. "Spring allergies: where my sneezes provide the punchline to nature's ongoing comedy routine. At least someone finds them funny! It's like I'm living in a sitcom of funny jokes."
30. Allergy season: when the only thing more abundant than pollen is the supply of funny sayings about runny noses and watery eyes. Because why not add a touch of humor to the sneeze-filled saga?"
31. "Allergies: the only time of year I'm jealous of my dog's ability to sniff out trouble. He gets treats; I get tissues. Truly, allergy quotes perfectly encapsulate the absurdity of it all."
32. "I'm not allergic to cats, I'm just allergic to their cuteness when they shed all over my black clothes." 

Allergy Quotes

There's plenty of humor to be found in the springtime allergy struggle.

After all, laughter may not be a cure, but it's the perfect way to find some joy (and maybe a little sympathy) as we navigate the season together. 

Remember, you're not alone in this battle against pollen. Millions of others are braving itchy eyes, runny noses, and the constant urge to sneeze. 

So take a deep breath (carefully!), grab a friend who understands (one with a clear head, ideally!), and prepare to laugh your way through the allergy season. 

We can't promise these quotes will stop the sniffles, but they might just make you forget them for a giggle or two.

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