After a break up, it can be difficult to feel like yourself. If you’ve been in love and with a person for a while, you’ll know just how hard it is to let them go and accept that you’re now on your own without making a few poor decisions along the way. Getting fully back on track after a break up can take a while, but the following tips should help you to get there a bit quicker.
Cut All Contact With Your Ex
The first thing you need to do to get back on track is cut all contact with your ex. I mean all contact. Unfollow them, delete them, block them - whatever you need to do. This isn’t to spite them or anything like that. It’s for your own good. You really don’t want to get into the habit of checking up on them, or be tempted to text them when you hear of something they’d be interested in. This isn’t going to do anything for you in terms of moving on. This doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or stay in touch in the future, but you need to stay out of contact until you are both fully over the break up. That means when you’re indifferent about one another.
For a while you’re going to be on a rollercoaster of emotions, and the last thing you need is to see a picture of them eating somewhere you used to eat, or worse, a status that indicates they are on a date. For your own sanity, cut them off. Explain to them that you’re doing it for the both of you if you feel you want to let them know. This is hard to do whether you’re the person who has been the dumper or the dumpee. It’ll help either way, so just make sure you do it. This is of course, impossible if you work with your ex, or even if you’re living with an ex. If that’s the case, you need to do your best to make it easier on both of you. Those situations are a little more complicated, so you might benefit reading articles on them individually to see what can be done.
Focus On Yourself
Once you’ve cut all contact, if you’ve done it properly, there’s no way you can focus on what they are doing and obsess over whether this is the right thing. It’s all about you baby! It’s time to focus on yourself. This can be difficult if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, but it’s crucial if you’re going to get back on track the right way. Do things you want to do. Spend time alone to get to know yourself again. Take yourself on dates. Breaking up is a great time to rediscover yourself.
Let Yourself Feel Sad
You’re going to feel sad, unless your ex was the biggest jerk on the planet. Even if they didn’t treat you right, it’s totally normal to feel feelings of sadness and wonder whether you’ve done the right thing. Let yourself feel sad for a while. Cry if you need to. Hug a pillow. Wear their t-shirt. You need to get this out of your system. How sad you are might depend on whether you wanted the break up or not, and how long you were together. Consider giving yourself a time limit to mope around. After that time limit, it’s time to buck your ideas up and get it together. Make sure you let everything out within the time limit you’ve given yourself!
Try Not To Use Forms Of Escapism
When you break up with someone, it’s all too easy to use forms of escapism to try to forget your troubles, but eventually they’ll make things worse. Some people use alcohol, some use drugs, some use casual sex. They are all bad ideas until you’ve healed. Of course that doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in a drink with your friends, but don’t go out and get bladdered every weekend. It won’t help!
Get Yourself Back On The Dating Scene
When you feel ready, get yourself back on the dating scene. This might take just weeks for some, or months for others. Keep it casual. Don’t become exclusive with the first person you meet. This is all about finding what else is out there and having a good time.
Find Meaning In Your Life
When you have meaning in your life, you’re not in a rush to find anybody. You don’t need anybody to complete you. What are you good at? What are some things you’ve always wanted to do? Go and do them. Give your life meaning and fall in love with it!
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