You know Christi Lukasiak from Dance Moms and she is also absolutely hilarious. If you don't think that Christi Lukasiak was the funniest mother on Dance Moms, you're wrong. Here are the Top 10 Quotes From Christi Lukasiak on "Dance Moms".
"2007 called and they want their Kate Gosselin hair back."
Poor Cathy was always the butt of so many of the jokes featured on Dance Moms. But was Christi wrong though?
"Yolonda, I would tread very lightly. Like, I have dealt with bigger, badder, meaner, drunker. Go f*** away."
Obviously, Christi is not one of the Dance Moms that anyone should get into it with.
"I can't remember any of these new mom's names because, to me, they're all just vanilla. So I had to assign my own names so I can remember them. The one with the purple hair, she's dud-muffin, because she's about as fun as a dud. Then I have boring Loree. Every time she opens her mouth it's like wah wah wah. Then we have Frumplestiltskin. Then I have Count Stalkula, because that tall one has been stalking us for three years, desperate to get her kid on the team. And the one with the red head, she's just what's-her-face, because I can't remember that woman's name. And then there's Christ-y; she's like a bible-thumping, fire and brimstone, old-testament style dance mom."
I don't even have to explain this one. The new Dance Moms could never compare to the old team, especially Christi with her incredible sense of humor. Absolutely savage.
"Aww, Maddie and Abby both had their first kiss in the same day! That's kinda sweet, twins!"
There goes Christi again, making jabs at Abby's virginity.
"There's a pink elephant in the room, and for once it's not Abby."
Okay, I don't condone fat-shaming jokes, but come on. Christi's just too good at the one-liners.
"Who is Abby to be calling Holly out on her fashion sense? I mean, really? My favorite part about Abby's accessories is that they're all organized in a shoe box by color. Red plastic rhinestone crap, blue plastic rhinestone crap..."
I've actually been re-watching Dance Moms recently, and I can't believe I never paid attention to Abby's horrendous accessories. I'll give her credit though, her style did improve slightly as the seasons went on.
"And every week its 'oh, my kids didn't learn their solos, they just happened to know by osmosis which move comes next.' No! They happen to know which move comes next because they already learned their dance!"
Osmosis. I can't.
"Every week Abby hands us a tissue, a sequin and a rhinestone and says 'here, MacGyver up a costume so your kids look fabulous on TV!'"
I was always astounded by how beautiful the costumes were on Dance Moms. Really, how did they do it?
"Danny DeVito, oh my god I love you!"
I swear I almost peed when Christi greeted Cathy with this iconic line.
"It's just embarrassing for all of our daughters to be up there dressed like that. They look like prosti-tots."
Who could forget the scandalous Dance Moms season 1 dance "Electricity"? Oh, and "prosti-tots the sequel," when the girls wore those school girl costumes! Truly amazing.
This has been the scoop on Christi's top 10 quotes on Dance Moms. Check out some of our other stuff, too!
ohioian says
i feel like another one is even if you dont always like your sister you always love your sister.