"The baby's not due for another two weeks."

- Liz

"Oh hey, stay away from that tuna casserole -- the one in the middle -- tastes like ass."

- Oscar

"You know Maddy, if you could have only one parent, I wish you could've had your mom, cause she would've been better at it."

- Matt

 "You didn't forget the pediatrician's visit, did you?"

- Marion

“"I think it's a new hairstyle that could catch on if given a chance."

- Matt

“"All the girl's are wearing skirts, but skirts make me feel like I forgot my pants."

- Maddy

"Maddy it's all you. You wanna check or bet."

- Matt

"I think I know why Oscar and Rose insisted I come today. I think we're being set up."

- Swan

"I wanna introduce you to somebody that I have been seeing."

- Matt

"We're not doing anything here because you guys don't know how to do nothing right. I've been here."

- Matt