“Back where I’m from, you try to end a game in a tie; well, that might as well be the first sign of the apocalypse.”

-Ted Lasso

“We’re gonna call this drill ‘The Exorcist’ cause it’s all about controlling possession.”

-Ted Lasso

“If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously.”

-Ted Lasso

“It’s like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth.”

-Ted Lasso

“If God wanted games to end in a tie, She wouldn’t have invented numbers, all right?”

-Ted Lasso

“You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. Y’know why? It’s got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish.”

-Ted Lasso

Image Credit: Crown Media

-Ted Lasso

“Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, that’s a little rich for my blood.”

“Ice cream’s the best. It’s kinda like seeing Billy Joel live. Never disappoints.”

-Ted Lasso

Image Credit: Crown Media

“Tea is horrible. Absolute garbage water. I don’t know why y’all do that.”

-Ted Lasso

Image Credit: Crown Media

“There’s a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter. Heck, someone made an account for my mustache.”

-Ted Lasso